Today, after reading an article online, I got the interesting idea of writing in a journal to relieve stress and develop an all around better well-being. I love writing and I have loved it ever since I can remember. I remember in 7th grade I was chosen out of my entire class to meet with an established author and discuss the process of writing and eventually publishing a book. From then, I was totally inspired and ready to become an author myself.
Like many things in life, my dreams didn’t play out exactly like I wanted them to. I always dreamed of studying English literature or creative writing in college. How I ended up in Speech and Hearing Sciences is a long story and I won’t get into that. Anyway, my point is my writing career never went anywhere, yet. For the past year, I have been working on a novel. It’s nearly finished, but I think probably the most difficult part is making it all come together in the end. It’s very difficult work!
Therefore, I enjoy writing as a hobby because I can finish the story I’m writing, or not, it’s my choice. It would be nice to get published though. Anyway, I digress…
Back on track. After reading the article throughout the day, intermittently with each 15 minute break, I decided that as soon as I left work, I would buy a journal.
Those of you with OCD might understand this next part. I planned for hours in my head the exact and most strategic route possible. It stresses me out so much when I have to change up this route. Then I played over and over in my mind how quickly I could drive there, get the journal, and go home. It then took me about another hour to debate back and forth if I really wanted to go all the way over to that side of town and buy one. I clocked out, went to my car, and headed to the store. It seemed like my body was making the decision for me
I got to the store and headed straight to where the journals are always kept. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot to choose from, which is usually not the case. I finally ended up choosing one that I thought was cute, despite the over-enthusiastic sayings on the front. I feel like I will never live up to what the journal expects of me It is the one featured in the picture above, obviously.
I chose this particular one out of a number of similar journals because I liked the color scheme. Everything else was either too bright or had a design, like a shoe, that didn’t appeal to me. I bought it and went home.
I kept it in it’s plastic wrapper until after I took a shower and settled in for the evening on the sofa. I unwrapped it and instantly felt disappointed. I literally felt disappointed because I hated the way the cover felt! Looking at it now, I still hate it. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I hate particular textures of paper and one like this, where it’s almost like a newspaper texture, really, really irritates me and creeps me out. As my mom once said because she has the same issue with paper, is that it’s about like nails on a chalkboard for us.
I am now frustrated that I have a journal, which has a texture that I hate. I might have been able to get over that, except when I opened the cover and looked at the pages, I saw that they were like this:
This reminds me of freshman year geometry. I have never seen a journal with grid paper before! That’s truly annoying. I mean, what the heck is that? I guess on the bright side, I can improve my handwriting by staying within the boxes as I did in second grade
I would take this journal back, but there are a couple of reasons why. First, I don’t feel like going all the way to that side of town and exchanging it for another one. It wasn’t expensive and I don’t want to use my gas.
Second, I need to overcome my anxieties and just use it.
I had to share this story because of the sheer irony. I bought this journal as a way to relieve stress, but the journal itself is stressful to me.
I have a long life ahead of me, I hope, and there will be other journals, so this too shall pass.
Keep on keepin’ on friends and embrace life’s obstacles
Peace, love, and blessings always,