Some of you might recall a previous post about a particularly terrible journal  Well, it’s turned out to not be as bad as I imagined.  I don’t love it, but it works.  I have been writing some poetry.  I will be honest, I’m not much of a poet and I have rarely done much of this type of writing in the past, but I thought I would give it a try.  I hope it’s not too terrible

“Ahead”

We can’t go back,

a truth even fools know.

The only way is ahead,

life waits before us,

sometimes easy,

sometimes a burden.

Dark days steer me back.

I can’t move forward.

It would be better to hide in the dark,

knees to my chest,

head down,

like my child self.

Life doesn’t wait,

people don’t either,

always pushing me on,

words of love,

& sometimes annoyance.

I uncurl my knees,

stand up,

taller than I imagined.

The light hurts, but I adjust.

Bright days are easy.

I live like a human should.

The creature on my back is barely hanging on,

his last claw scraping at the fabric on my shoulder.

He’s there.

I can still feel him,

breath on my neck,

but barely.

My feet can move,

my hands can work,

I can breathe,

mouth open, nostrils flaring.

I can see,

my eyes aren’t strained.

The light is beautiful.

It’s the dark days that frighten me.

The creature is clinging,

all fours wrapped tightly around my tired body.

He’s strong.

He’s been here all along,

has grown with me.

Some days I look in the mirror and I think he’s dying,

so faded and wrinkled,

a husk of himself.

It’s deceiving.

He always comes back,

alive as ever,

wanting more of my life.

But it’s mine.

He’s strong.

I must be stronger.

He can’t be tamed by anyone but me.

Only I know him.

Only I can calm him.

One day,

I will defeat him.

The picture above is of my sister’s cat, Oscar, who was actually once the family cat, but she took him  with her when she moved out.  I hadn’t seen him for a long time and I went to her house for a Scentsy party  a few months ago.  I couldn’t believe how monstrous he is now.  He is a huge cat.  I mean, look at him compared to my torso!  Anyway, I thought it was a funny way to portray me carrying a creature, while not necessarily on my back, a burden nonetheless

I love you all.

Best,

Megan