I remember Valentine’s Day when I was in middle school very vividly. I remember putting Rugrats Valentine’s cards in little white paper bags with my classmates names written in black on a big red heart. I remember how excited we all were to see what we all got. The best Valentine’s cards had holograms on them and/or had some type of candy taped to the back. Looking back, I see how kind of ridiculous this all was. It must have been a lot of pressure on families who didn’t have money to buy these silly Valentine’s cards for their kids to bring to school. I wonder how many kids actually didn’t bring them? Somehow, during childhood, reality is a different thing.
I guess as I’ve grown up that I’ve gained a bit of wisdom in the love department. Have you ever felt like you’ve known someone for a thousand years, but really they just came into your life 4 or 5 years ago? This post is a bit different from previous posts. I’m not going to focus on myself and my problems, but rather some interesting things I’ve learned about love in my life thus far.
I think most of us know that love never is like the movies. This is probably beginning to be a bit of a cliche’ actually. Maybe some moments are like the movies, or at least we feel like they are in the moment, but in general that is not the case.
At first, when a relationship is new and exciting and the butterflies are still fluttering, it’s easy to think that things will always be great and magical. As I’ve learned, the initial excitement eventually wears off. Those foggy infatuation goggles shatter and make way for the beginnings of a deeper kind of love.
I’ve been with my partner for 5 years now. We’ve had some great times and some incredibly difficult times, but together we’ve learned a great deal about each other and ourselves. We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day anymore. It’s just something we found to be a chore and a burden on our relationship and the more we look at it compared to what we have, it’s really just a bit of a marketing holiday. I am not cynical about Valentine’s Day and I find it rather endearing to see couples celebrating it. Even though we don’t celebrate it, I think it’s as good a time as any to express my love for him.
It was difficult for me to do this without sounding VERY cheesy, so I sat down and wrote a list of the top 10 things that I love most about my partner. Here it goes:
1. He’s the FUNNIEST person I know. He doesn’t try to be, it’s just his nature. This is the biggest reason I fell in love with him. I could write a book on the funny things he does on a daily basis.
2. He’s a hard worker and has a great sense of professionalism in the workplace, which is why I think he’s doing so well professionally.
3. He knows when to have fun and when to be serious. He’s much better at this than me!
4. He’s great at socializing in general, but he’s especially amazing at approaching strangers, something I’m terrible at and always have been . I admire this so much about him.
5. He has an excellent fashion sense and dresses better than me. This isn’t exactly a difficult thing to do because I’m usually lazy when it comes to what I wear, but he’s at least 10 x better than me at it.
6. He’s a wonderful teacher. He’s great in his field and has a real passion for it. I think it has a lot to do with the amount of patience he has.
7. He’s not afraid to have a “feminine” side. I hate the gender divide and avoid using the terms too often, but in his case it doesn’t seem to mean the same thing. He’s just himself. If he likes a pink shirt or pair of pants he buys them. If he wants a mani-pedi, well he will get one if he wants!
8. He jokes a lot about being “the man of the house,” but he genuinely respects me as an equal.
9. We love a lot of the same things, but he has his own interests too. He loves cars and technology, especially when the two are combined!
10. He is a true gentleman. He is respectful of women and his elders. He pays for friends when we go out to eat. He takes care of me and provides for me the best that he can.
Sitting down and writing these things on paper helped me to verbalize my feelings better. I try everyday, not just this one day out of the year, to show him and the other people in my life who I love, just how much I care for them.
It’s really the everyday, little things that matter most to the ones we love.
Take the time to express this to them.
Please feel free to share a list of your own!