I was recently looking at other blogs and came upon an interesting one about tics. This is a behavior that has plagued me for years and still continues until this day. I am not sure where these tics ever came from, but I’m pretty sure they will never go away.
For those of you who have never had a tic, in short, is painful and extremely annoying. You want to stop, but you can’t because your brain needs to do it! The most annoying and memorable tics I have had are tightly blinking my eyes (mostly my right), which was totally embarrassing in my Korean class when the instructor asked me if I was winking at her, but to save face I said that my contacts were bothering me. The eye blinking became simply unbearable and I had to consciously stop doing it because I was having nonstop headaches.
I grind my teeth all day, but mostly on my right, which has left me with TMJ and chipped teeth riddled with craze lines. I just got fillings on that side, so I’m actually worried that the grinding will damage them.
Probably the most horrible of all, though, was how once when I got a cold, I began to swallow quite a bit. Even after the cold was over, I kept swallowing and it was a very large swallow, definitely not normal and most definitely a tic. It got to the point where I was swallowing so much that I would get a sore throat and feel like I was drowning in my own saliva, but I couldn’t stop. If anyone understands how terrible tics are, it’s this girl.
When I relate the “tics” to OCD, I feel that they are more compulsions than tics because there is a definite feeling of dire need to perform the tic. However, I have no real explanation for them, only that they are a part of who I am, even if they are extremely annoying.