Love, or Something Like It

Past V-Day Cards
Past V-Day Cards

I remember Valentine’s Day when I was in middle school very vividly.  I remember putting Rugrats Valentine’s cards in little white paper bags with my classmates names written in black on a big red heart.  I remember how excited we all were to see what we all got.  The best Valentine’s cards had holograms on them and/or had some type of candy taped to the back.  Looking back, I see how kind of ridiculous this all was.  It must have been a lot of pressure on families who didn’t have money to buy these silly Valentine’s cards for their kids to bring to school.  I wonder how many kids actually didn’t bring them?  Somehow, during childhood, reality is a different thing.

I guess as I’ve grown up that I’ve gained a bit of wisdom in the love department.  Have you ever felt like you’ve known someone for a thousand years, but really they just came into your life 4 or 5 years ago?   This post is a bit different from previous posts.  I’m not going to focus on myself and my problems, but rather some interesting things I’ve learned about love in my life thus far.

I think most of us know that love never is like the movies.  This is probably beginning to be a bit of a cliche’ actually.  Maybe some moments are like the movies, or at least we feel like they are in the moment, but in general that is not the case.

At first, when a relationship is new and exciting and the butterflies are still fluttering, it’s easy to think that things will always be great and magical.  As I’ve learned, the initial excitement eventually wears off.  Those foggy infatuation goggles shatter and make way for the beginnings of a deeper kind of love.

I’ve been with my partner for 5 years now.  We’ve had some great times and some incredibly difficult times, but together we’ve learned a great deal about each other and ourselves.  We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day anymore.  It’s just something we found to be a chore and a burden on our relationship and the more we look at it compared to what we have, it’s really just a bit of a marketing holiday.  I am not cynical about Valentine’s Day and I find it rather endearing to see couples celebrating it.  Even though we don’t celebrate it, I think it’s as good a time as any to express my love for him.

It was difficult for me to do this without sounding VERY cheesy, so I sat down and wrote a list of the top 10 things that I love most about my partner.  Here it goes:

1. He’s the FUNNIEST person I know.  He doesn’t try to be, it’s just his nature.  This is the biggest reason I fell in love with him.  I could write a book on the funny things he does on a daily basis.

2. He’s a hard worker and has a great sense of professionalism in the workplace, which is why I think he’s doing so well professionally.

3. He knows when to have fun and when to be serious.  He’s much better at this than me!

4. He’s great at socializing in general, but he’s especially amazing at approaching strangers, something I’m terrible at and always have been .  I admire this so much about him.

5. He has an excellent fashion sense and dresses better than me.  This isn’t exactly a difficult thing to do because I’m usually lazy when it comes to what I wear, but he’s at least 10 x better than me at it.

6. He’s a wonderful teacher.  He’s great in his field and has a real passion for it.  I think it has a lot to do with the amount of patience he has.

7. He’s not afraid to have a “feminine” side.  I hate the gender divide and avoid using the terms too often, but in his case it doesn’t seem to mean the same thing.  He’s just himself.  If he likes a pink shirt or pair of pants he buys them.  If he wants a mani-pedi, well he will get one if he wants!

8. He jokes a lot about being “the man of the house,” but he genuinely respects me as an equal.

9. We love a lot of the same things, but he has his own interests too.  He loves cars and technology, especially when the two are combined!

10. He is a true gentleman. He is respectful of women and his elders.  He pays for friends when we go out to eat.  He takes care of me and provides for me the best that he can.

Sitting down and writing these things on paper helped me to verbalize my feelings better.  I try everyday, not just this one day out of the year, to show him and the other people in my life who I love, just how much I care for them.

It’s really the everyday, little things that matter most to the ones we love.

Take the time to express this to them.

Please feel free to share a list of your own!

 

Best,

Megan

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67 thoughts on “Love, or Something Like It

  1. Keep smiling everyday, because it is everyday that matters. I’m not big on commercialism for any holiday.
    Best to you.
    Oh, my list, 1.humor, 2, humor, 3. humor, 4. respect 5, respect, 6. respect, 7. lovingkindness, well I think you get the picture. 🙂

  2. Good insights on the real nature of love. Makes me think of “The Velveteen Rabbit” and discovering real is when someone loves you, all of you.

  3. Number 11 on your list could be? The Roman Empire for which this day was started from, was a worship of their gods and was an extremely brutal time in our history. They never paid, barter or trade for anything, they took everything that they wanted and destroyed everything else so that no one else could have it. So, why would I say “I Love You and Happy Valentine’s day” at the same time?
    You partner is the normal for an indigenous male, so I suggest women start demanding our indigenous men and we men start demanding indigenous women? After all one gets back what he/she gives.
    Lue you all. 🙂

  4. Sorry this is a late comment honey, I don’t seem to get your updates so I’ll try to subscribe to them by email and see if I get them better.
    This was a very nice post, I know how you feel about the commercialism of it all, but I just can’t resist chocolates.

  5. This is beautiful. I think Valentine day is an endearing day for everyone. It’s not about marketing. There is only one of this day of the year. I think we should take this as a day for couple or whoever we love to spend time with the person not matter how busy life is. This day should be a non-excuse day for lovers. As a date of renewal 😉

  6. So nice to meet not only a fellow blogger, but someone else who doesn’t (commercially) celebrate Valentine’s Day. We don’t celebrate it at my household either. My boyfriend gets ridiculed about it a great deal. All of his friends are sure he’s going to be in a great deal of trouble when he comes home giftless. We are just satisfied to have each other.

  7. I really love this, and I feel very privileged to be with someone who fits me the way your partner obviously fits you. I enjoyed this piece very much! And thanks for stopping by my blog, I truly appreciate that.

  8. I miss the butterflies. I’m not a big fan of “V” Day anyway .. just feels like such a let down. My solution has been that we agree it is a night to get out with just each other and find someplace we’ve never eaten at, then order something we would never usually order. It takes the pressure off if you know everything is up in the air anyway. Dinner may be great – or it could be horrible, but at least we had some time together away from kids, TV, work, whatever.

    1. We used to celebrate V-Day and we still do in our own way. I live in a town with TONS of restaurants. We have tried to go out to eat for the past two years on V-Day and could never get in ANYWHERE! We’ve resorted to cooking something lovely at home 🙂

  9. Thank you for liking my blog.

    My boyfriend and I don’t really do Valentine’s Day either. Our anniversary (of when we got together) is just over a week before anyway, so we celebrate that – although if he did turn up with chocolates I wouldn’t object. You can never have too many chocolates 😉

  10. Glad to hear you have such a great person in your life! 🙂 He is also lucky to have you as well! Thank you for reading and liking the poem. 🙂

  11. You’ve got yourself a good man – and you are a good woman. I don’t know many who would take the time to compliment their significant others (let alone LIST the compliments for the world to see!) Thank you for sharing this. You made me smile, made me remember to be thankful, and made me want to write a list for my own husband.

    1. I find that writing lists is the best way to get rid of writer’s block and it’s usually the only way I can come up with something to write on here. I enjoyed writing this one and it really got me thinking about what mattered most in our relationship instead of dwelling on the bad. I encourage you to comprise one as well 🙂 I’d love to read it.

  12. I loved how you took the time to consider what were the best ten things you love about your partner ♥ I can hear how much you love him in your words ~ he is very lucky to have you! Alot of people tend to take their partners for granted, or they focus too much on what’s going wrong rather than what is just perfect within their relationship…Easy for me to say as a single person, haha! But I do see it in my friends and family around me…He sounds like a great guy ~ I admire his ability to chat with strangers too! I find that so anxiety-provoking 😦

    I am glad I finally found your blog 🙂 It looks wonderful, and I am looking forward to reading more! I have OCD traits myself…It’s not something I have written about on my blog yet, but I do understand how debilitating it can be, and I feel for you…Hope to be able to help each other along our journeys through anxiety ♥

    1. I can definitely relate to feelings of anxiety 🙂 It’s a terrible thing to feel afraid in life, but it gets the better of us. Your comments on my post are just too lovely 🙂 I’m glad that it came off the way I wanted. I wrote it with love in mind, but usually what I have in mind turns to ramblings and somethings doesn’t make sense. I guess it did this time!

      I look forward to hearing more from you 🙂

  13. I like this a lot. I think every so often couples should do this. It help remind you both what and why you fell in love in the first place. Love isn’t always easy nor is it always kind, however if you put the effort it deserves in it then it would work tremendously in your favor. Good job
    -Sheka

    1. I think that’s the reason I did it. Too often days go by and I don’t compliment him or I’m even quite grouchy with him. It was time to sit down, think, and just be thankful for having that kind of love and partnership in my life 🙂

  14. This was an excellent post! I especially liked your list of reasons you love your partner. There is so much I want to say, your post has my overactive brain working overtime but I will just lean on the side of brevity. I recently watched a movie and this line stuck in my head “We accept the love we think we deserve” that really hit me when I heard it, so simple but so true. You seem to have a lot of love for yourself which has allowed you to except nothing but the best love you know you deserve and that is very rare in this world. I hear many people say things like “i wish I had a guy/girl like that” but what they are really saying is “I wish I liked myself enough to think I deserve nothing less than that”. Maybe you don’t agree with me that you like yourself enough and if you don’t just think about it for a minute, you could have settled for a lot less than what you have and what you have sounds pretty darn good.

    1. Very, very true and beautiful. I’ve never thought upon love that way, but indeed, it takes having a great deal of love for oneself before we have enough to give away. He’s an amazing person, who although is not perfect, is a gift. I wish everyone could feel that way. You’ve opened my eyes a bit today. Thank you for that 🙂

  15. Nothing like being the 126th person to “like” this post! It is so true what you have observed about the “real world” love that most of us know. I hope your “guy” knows that he’s got a winner in you as well! You can share so openly with others, and that’s good for your soul…and your growth! “Skip”

  16. I like this. And i def. agree about celebrating Valentine’s Day. It’s cute and all but I show my partner everyday how I feel, why show it one day of the year. I mean we have also been together for 5 years, actually over that and we have learned that although we have some things in common there are many differences and that is what makes our relationship stay fresh and not go to boring. It’s good to have separate identities.

    1. Like another follower of mine said, I feel Valentine’s Day, for me anyway, feels a bit forced. I hate it when I hear people complaining about having to get gifts for their partner. It is not loving at all! 😉

  17. Reblogged this on thinkjunk and commented:
    Megan, thank you for your love list. This post sounded so much like me that I had to repost it here with some of my own thoughts tacked on.

    Mister and I have never celebrated Valentines Day for two reasons (both mine). The first is that it’s my mom’s birthday and I’d rather celebrate her incredible life. Second, Valentines Day has always seemed a bit forced to me. It’s a lot of pressure to be romantic on command when I believe the truly romantic moments are much more spontaneous and organic.

    First, I’m going to steal some of your points and apply them to my Mister as well:

    1. Mister is ninja funny. On the surface he appears serious and professional, then at just the right moment he mutters something that has me shooting milk out my nose.

    2. Mister is also very professional. He is so good at his job and he’s taking courses towards his MBA. I couldn’t be prouder of him.

    5. Mister’s fashion sense is unparalleled. He helps dress me better and I thank him for that.

    7. Although I may tease Mister about being ‘girlie’ and me for being a bit ‘boyish’, he knows I’m joking. He is comfortable in who he is and I love that his favourite colour is purple, (it’s mine too!)

    8. Our mutual respect is paramount and growing as we make our family together.

    9. Our mutual interests include hiking, travelling, movies and many, many geeky things to numerous to mention at this time.

    10. Mister was raised a gentleman and remains one. I see jealous looks from other women in restaurants when he helps me on with my coat and holds the door for me.

    I also have a few thoughts that were not on your list:

    – Mister’s peace and tendency towards silence calms me and balances out my craziness. I’m the loud one and he’s the quiet one. It allows me to seek balance and to have fun pulling him out of his comfort zone to try new things, (like snowshoeing!)

    – He’s so much better with money than I am. I’m pretty responsible but his finances make me look like a spendthrift by comparison. This makes me really mull things over before I splurge.

    – His family likes me and my family likes him. To some people this doesn’t matter but to us this means something. We both value family so it helps that we all get along.

    – He loves my cooking. It’s a small thing, but it flatters me. He tells me when he likes a meal I make and he requests it again.

    – He thinks I’m sexy when I’m frumping around the house in yoga clothes and a headband.

    – And most important: he stands up for me and protects me in a way no one else ever has.

    Your guy is outgoing where mine is introverted. Still, could they be twins separated at birth? Or maybe really great guys are just a lot alike. Much love to you both!

    1. Won and your man sound like two amazing people that we were blessed to each have. The similarities are astounding. It’s hard to find all of these qualities in one person, let alone two 😀 I love that you reblogged this and even more that you personalized it. Thank you!

  18. Hi Megan! Thanks for swinging by my post recently, because now I’ve found your blog too 🙂 I know exactly what you mean about feeling like you’ve known someone for a 1000 years, because I have exactly that kind of relationship right now, and I tear up every time I hear Christina Perrin’s song, “A Thousand Years.” Hmm…I feel a blog post coming on. Thanks for the post!

  19. I love your blog already, but this gives me a more rounded picture of you as a person. Your partner is very lucky to have someone who appreciates him so. I would love to read more about your life and look forward to checking in frequently. Happy spring ❤

    1. I couldn’t agree with you more 🙂 He is the person I rely on the most and we’ve been through some great and terrible times together. I think our song is “No Air” by Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown. I’d love to hear more from you 🙂

  20. That was fantastic! I’m going to get the ladies at the women’s group to make a list like that. I loved it!
    Your blog pages are amazing, real and inspiring in your courage writing them. Thank you!

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