It’s been a year since I graduated from college. Since then, I’ve finally come to the realization that I am no longer a child. It’s such a strange transition, really. It seems like I went from dependence in high school, semi-dependence in college, and now total independence. I think my generation has this experience quite often and I could see how easy it would be to continue on in the semi-dependence stage. I’ve, of course, learned so much now that I’m on my own. Yes children, when you become an adult you can eat desert before dinner! Although I do love having “total freedom,” as I call it, I can’t help but be a little nostalgic, or perhaps is just shocked, by the fact that my life has seemingly flown by. Perhaps this hit me because it was graduation weekend and I still live in the city of my Alma mater, so I was quite surrounded by the festivities of it all. In short, I sat down and wrote this poem about my thoughts on life thus far.
Mostly a result of the youthful carelessness of their owner,
crooked from the rough play,
misaligned ears perhaps.
teeth jutting every way,
hair in knots,
Time came & swept the spirit of this child away,
replacing it with a hardened,
The result of others,
no fault of the child.
That time is gone,
not yet forgotten,
but drifting nearer that place where memories are lost forever.
It’s a fight,
That old soul continues,
Life can be lovely,
but sometimes cruel,
teasing us with dreams of the future.
A childhood of innocence & a great deal of ignorance,
a time so short,
a fragment of the human experience.
Adulthood comes from behind,
surprising the child out of us.
The awkward child changes,
jaw a little bonier,
legs a little longer,
an unsure child lurking in her chest,
she survives now,
somehow in this world run by adults,
somehow living a life once a distant expectation,
mystery more like.
Somehow knowing truly what it means to love,
The child is mostly gone,
a whisper of her formal self,
but she doesn’t dislike the adult she has become.
Time has given her a chance to find herself.
Freedom exists in ways it never did.
She dreams still,
like the child,
ever searching for the path she will follow.
she waits for the trees to part & the way to become known.