Home

Chester and his once lovely fish
Chester and his once lovely fish.  Look at those catnipped eyes 😉

I would like to update everyone on my felting adventure.  I learned to needle felt, which is really quite simple and very fun.  However, I have learned that cats love to attack wool.  I cannot felt in the presence of Chester because he pretends to sit all calmly and sweetly, but then without warning swipes his claws and grabs the wool away.  

I thought I’d be nice and make a small, felt fish stuffed with catnip for Chester.  It took me about half an hour to make the fish.  I threw it to Chester and he instantly loved it, so much so that within 2 minutes he destroyed the fish.  I left for quite some time, an hour or so, and came back only to find that Chester was still in the position as pictured above.  Well, you can’t say I tried.

Chester being adorable under the duvet.
Chester being adorable under the duvet.

I digress 🙂

For the past 3 weekends, I’ve had to go back to my hometown for a friend gathering, a Mother’s day brunch, and a baby shower, all of which were fun and a great opportunity to see my family, who I don’t see often, and friends, who I really don’t see often.  I remember times, such as when I first left for college, feeling so homesick. I grew up in practically the same home through adolescence and into young adulthood, so I had grown familiar with my family home.

As they always do, times have changed. While I do enjoy going back to see my family, something is not the same.  Now when I go back I feel nothing for the home of my childhood.  I could care less if I ever saw that city again.  I have come to the conclusion that it is no longer my home.

Home is where you make it, a bit of wisdom that rings even truer now that I have built my own home.  Even in this dark, little apartment I feel more comfortable than any place in the world.  The two loves of my life are here and I wouldn’t change that for anything.  We do whatever we want here and no one can say anything.  If I don’t want to clean, I don’t have to (but you know I always want to).  If I want to not make the bed, I won’t.  If I want to stay up past midnight, I can.  Home is not just a place.  It’s not just one thing.  It’s the many little things that matter to us, combining to form what we know as “home.”

Here’ s a poem I wrote, expressing my feelings of my home.

“Home”

Daily struggles,

always a burden.

Fighting myself,

even when I want peace.

Home is the calm.

The smell of us,

rice,

cologne,

coffee.

My seat on the couch,

your feet on my lap,

the dim lights,

the sound of the TV a noise in the background,

a part of us.

The kitty meows,

hungry,

attention-seeking perhaps.

He’s brought us closer,

made our little family a bit more whole.

Seeing you two,

a comfort to my raging soul.

A sight of indescribable love.

Without this place of safety,

I’m a sail with no wind,

going nowhere.

My mind,

bouncing around in my skull,

restless & tired,

would be dying without this place,

without you two.

My life,

us.

The best of everything.

-Megan

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69 thoughts on “Home

  1. Great poem! Home is absolutely where you make it – as the old saying goes ‘home is where the heart is’ and your heart is with Chester and your love. Wonderful!

  2. Chester is SOOOOO adorable! I saw a tutorial where a lady took the plastic ring off of a milk carton and tied strips of felt to it. Her kittie loved it instantly! It looked like a colorful spider in the pictures. I want to make one for Addy. I thought I would share the project with you and Chester, too! Kat

    1. Thank you 🙂 that’s a great idea for a cat toy. He loves both felt and milk rings. If I’ve learned anything from having a cat it’s to never spend a lot on toys 😉

  3. The war within is a tough one as anyone with OCD knows, I am sorry for your situation but as I have been reading some of your posts I have seen that through them you have also been handling some of it very well, I can’t say that it has been cured but writing about your torments for some is a good way to vent, it is better than holding everything in. I also know that many illness that are related with mental illness can be a very touchy situation to discuss. So I hope I didn’t offend you in any way because the is the last thing I wanted to do. I know suffer from depression and I wouldn’t want to find out that I had hurt any of my fellow bloggers whether they are followers or just a one time stop.

  4. Chester and his felted fish are sublime. It’s a profund moment when we realise that our home is not ‘back there’ but with us in the here and now. Lovely expression,in your poem, of that feeling of your at home-ness.

  5. Home often is where the cat is, and certainly where the heart is, so I think I understand where you’re coming from. Love the cat by the way. He’s probably got something useful to say on the subject

  6. Chester of course if adorable!! As for home, I totally agree. My mother and I are very close, best friends. She has a very hard time dealing with my Bipolar and Social Anxiety. As she says, “when I call I never know who I am going to be talking to.” She constantly gets her feeling hurt because I never want to come to her house. I try to tell her it has nothing to to do with her. It is just that my home, as crappy as it is, is my security. My safe place. I am very appreciative for the little bit I have and can’t image how those people feel who don’t have a place to call home. Thanks for sharing your post with us. And tell Chester no to have too much fun! 🙂

  7. Hi Megan!
    It’s Rodney from lynnsblogs. I am having quite the time on vacation & read this on my new laptop. My wife & I love this blog & I wanted to suggest that you use string or something else for to play with Chester. do you enjoy watching him play with his toys you make him? If you do, can I make a suggestion?
    I used to have fun playing with my kitten & cats when I was younger. I loved having string attached to their toys. I could get them to play & play & play. Finally I watched them actually sleep all night long. I never grew tired of having fun with them. I loved this post & hope you will come back & enjoy my updated posts & updates to my blog. Have a great day & keep Chester coming back for more. I want to read more of his times with you!
    Rodney

    1. Hello Rodney!

      He LOVES strings and bread ties, plastic bags, wool, etc. Basically anything. I made him a poptart out of craft felt last night and stuffed it with bits of a plastic bag, wool, and catnip and he LOVES it. i will be posting about it today actually 😉
      thanks for the suggestions 🙂 Chester says hi!
      megan

  8. If Chester could read or listen to your poem I’m sure he’d love it more than the felt fish you gave him, haha! Lovely picture too, and I’m looking forward to creating my own home, sometime in the near future. For now, my heart is far, far away!

  9. I went back home a few years ago after not having been back in 20 years. Things had changed a lot. My family no longer lived in our family home, and it had fallen into disrepair, sadly. The weekend I was there I spent mostly alone, in cold drizzle visiting schools and neighborhoods. I ended up fairly melancholy. None of my friends lived there any more. It didn’t feel like “coming home” at all, more like visiting the scene of an accident. It is absolutely true that you never truly go home. That home is only present in your memory.

  10. I totally agree that home is the best place in the world. Spending time with the ones you love in a lace you feel safe and comfortable is the best feeling in the world. To know you can be yourself and in control is an awesome feeling. A ome doesn’t have to be expensive or big or lavish it just needs to be full of love and peace.

  11. Hi Megan!
    Thanks for this post as I remember through your words of encouragement that home is where you are at no matter what. Nothing beats being where you call home as you are almost in control of what you do there. Your poem is very good too. I am working on what I am doing for health also & keep upgrading my Live Healthy blog as well as my Lynnsblogs for all to see & get something that keeps them encouraged. Here are the links to both of them & 1 you know & the other 1 will get to see if not already seen it: http://lynnsblogs.wordpress.com & http://healthywaystolive.wordpress.com. I’m so happy for you & maybe when you felt with wool you can go to another room without Chester for a hour or so & come back to see how he is doing by himself to get your needlefelt done. I know I have a terrible time keeping up with my blog sometimes but am working on books I have borrowed from the library to get the future pdf I have on health issues & vitamins & other nutrients that I have to hurry a lot to make sure I finish the book to keep from stopping when there are holds on it for others at the library. Thanks so much & have a great day!
    Rodney

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