This is Me, I Think…

PaintingThis weekend, I decided to paint the picture above.  I’m not sure what it is, but I was inspired by something that I saw in a museum recently.  Perhaps I should have signed it, but I didn’t think about it until looking at it now.  It’s not perfect, but it was fun to do and something that I have been wanting to try.  I’d like to think I’m an artist, but I know better 🙂  There are great, highly talented individuals out there.  For me, it’s just for fun.

After I finished the painting, I sat down and began writing in my journal.  I found myself contemplating about who I am.  This is vague and random, but have you ever just sat down and thought about what makes you, you?  What characteristics do you have that make you unique?  Well, I did 😉  I wrote a number of things in my journal and I wanted to share those with you now.

Let’s start with the basics: demographics:

  • Female
  • Blonde/brown hair
  • Blue/green eyes
  • 5’4″
  • ~115 lbs.  (I avoid weighing myself, so this is an estimate).
  • 23 years old
  • Scottish, Irish, German, Swiss, and French heritage
  • Live currently in the Midwest and have lived nowhere else
  • Employed
  • In a committed relationship

Now, those are some of the obvious things, but what I found difficult was finding those deeper parts of myself that are just part of my existence.  The things that I never think about, but are there and are me:

  • I play a number of roles: adoptive mother (to a cat), caregiver, partner, friend, family, sister, aunt, daughter, writer, artist, amateur photographer, employee, alumni, homo sapien 😉 , cook, housekeeper, gardener, intellectual.
  • I am living with a mental illness that tries to rule my life, but as of right now, things are bright.
  • People have told me that I’m: shy (I heard this so much when I grew up), smart, intelligent, sarcastic, grouchy, mean, funny, pretty, an overachiever, obsessed with cats, nerd, dork, cute, aggressive, talented.
  • I enjoy art, photography, literature, writing poetry.
  • I believe in the supernatural.
  • I love animals, particularly cats, probably more than I love most people.
  • I’m a great driver.  I’ve never had a wreck, not even a fender bender, and have only been pulled over once when I was 16 for having a burnt out headlight.
  • I come from a small town and I literally knew everyone I went to school with, if they were in my class or not.
  • I am still friends with the same people I was friends with in elementary school.
  • I sang choir for 6 years.  I miss singing in a choir so much.  In recent years I have taught myself vibrato and am very comfortable with it now.  My voice has matured quite a bit since I graduated high school.
  • I have always felt like I was smarter than everyone else.  I know that’s not the truth, of course other people are just as intelligent or more so, but I have lived most of my life looking down on the intelligence of others.  It’s only until recently that I’ve backed off of this a little.
  • I cry easily, as is probably the case with many women.  A memory, a news story, or even a good book will get me crying.  I wonder how many tears I have cried in my lifetime?  A lot, let me tell you.  My life has been riddled with tears.
  • My first job was as a dishwasher in a restaurant.  I was 17.  I left after my pervert of a boss put the moves on me.  He was 46.
  • I grew up Catholic.  When I was a kid, my mom and dad made sure we were in church every Sunday.
  • My parents divorced when I was 9, I think.  It’s been so long ago, I really don’t know how old I was actually.
  • The only sport I really played was soccer and that was for less than a year.  I was hit in the face by a soccer ball during a game and my nose started to bleed.  I wanted nothing to do with sports after that.
  • My hero is my grandmother Rosemary.  She passed away in 2007 and I still cry just thinking about some of the cute things she did.
  • I have been in my current relationship for almost 6 years and although we have had some rough times, I have never been happier than I am now.  I’m controlling my life and it’s awesome.

Well, that’s enough for now.  I hope I didn’t bore you.  It was a good time for me to reflect upon myself anyway.  None of this was supposed to be bragging, not in the slightest.  I was just trying to give myself an accurate view of some of what makes me who I am.

Now, enjoy a picture of Chester.  I love how you can hide something that a cat is not interested in and then pull it out months later and it’s their new favorite thing.  Chester didn’t sleep in his bed for months.  I put it on my bed and now he’s there all the time 😉

Chester in his bed
Chester in his bed

 

Thanks for reading!

-M

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90 thoughts on “This is Me, I Think…

  1. You are an amazing lady who is wonderfully talented. I have an incredible amount of love and respect for you. I hope we can stay in touch

      1. I hope so. I am on twitter but if you would rather email me or whatever. The option is yours 🙂

  2. Isn’t it fun to take stock of what we are,not just to the others in the world but to ourselves,this reflective process morphs as years go by and experiences change,how we adapt not only to the world we live in but how that world reflects back on us is a journey that I think takes a lifetime.
    I say embrace being different,enjoy that you are unique..in a world full of people desperate to ‘fit in’ I say fit in with what? My childhood may not have been the Brady bunch myth but I am grateful for what it was..real,hard and not always happy..i do this because I can say I think that I am greater than the sum of problems I have dealt with,i am I think more interesting and I have learnt what is important..honesty to yourself is first and foremost.So I love that you are painting,good for you,good for you that you are dealing with issues that are unseen to others,and especially good for you that you can embrace who you are warts and all..this already sets you up to be successful 🙂 btw Chester is way too cute 🙂

    1. it is fun 🙂 I too am grateful for the experiences I’ve had, difficult or not. It’s what makes us who we are and shapes character. Thanks for sharing how much you appreciated this post. That means a lot to me. Chester is quite a doll 🙂 We’re lucky to have him.

  3. I love the bold colors you used for your painting! I am not sure if you have posted any more pics of you paintings but I would love to see more. 🙂

  4. I like your self-assessment. It gives us a nice synopsis of who you are. And I like that you are in a good place. When are you going to record again? And don’t say no–I just put out my first recording after my surgery, and if someone can do that, then you have no excuse! I have yet had a cat like a bed. Probably because for some reason someone immedicately pees on it. Don’t get 2 cats, the dynamics change and you find them spraying all your stuff when they get into a pissing war! Love this pic, wish I could sleep as well.

    1. I’ve thought about getting another cat but I’ve heard horror stories of how the dynamics change afterward. Chester is so great I would hate to ruin that. Sure I’ll record again. Any song suggestions?

  5. I say we hunt down the perv of an ex boss and tar and feather him. Well done Megan, I have something similar I have done about me that I use when I am down. And for the record, the painting is great. Perfection is done by computers and copy machines, art is supposed to be fluid.

    Thanks for sharing! and you are NOT mean

    1. Sounds like a great idea to me 🙂 I didn’t tell anyone about that incident for a long time but I don’t care who knows now. I’m glad you like the painting 🙂 it’s difficult to make lines straight with paint .
      I can be mean if I want to be 😉

      1. Well I am happy you can tell people now, you did nothing wrong, and things like that make me made, and so e times lines can be TOO straight. And I think you’d have to work hard to be mean.

  6. Do you think it would be fun to do this list again in a few months or a year and see if anything has changed? I have had some fun looking back at stuff and been pleasantly surprised at how the essential “me” has stayed but changed ever so slightly.

  7. I loved reading your insights Megan, it wasn’t boring at all. You remind me a lot of myself in everything, even the choir periode and we’re both catlovers, that’s obvious. I love the painting, it tells a lot about you. You’re a younger Mondriaan I guess and you gave it your own touch. That’s art! 🙂

  8. always interesting to reflect on how you got to where you are. i like to amuse myself with “wow, that really just came out of my head and straight to my tongue/keyboard?” or sit and wonder sometimes “why did i do that?” identity is the most difficult, if not impossible, nut to crack. maybe this is why we the people have such an obsession with categories and labels.

    for the fun of it, look into something called “interpellation” – a theory in this vein from a dead german dude named Althruss (spelling?). i have a bit of my thoughts on this in my own blog, if it amuses you.

    1. I have never heard of “interpellation” before, but am going to take a look at it. I should look into this and then perhaps I will be inspired to write a post of sorts. Thanks for the suggestion 🙂 Althruss isn’t quite German, but maybe Althrusser? I’ve heard that name before.

  9. I adore your picture, the shapes and the layout are great and the colors amazing. You’re very talented. I also love your self -assessment, that can be very hard to do but worthwhile. Bravo!!

  10. I think its a good idea to take a pause and look back, once in a while.
    You know… I did this course back in college, and the teacher told us that the question “who I am” is the most troubling one you will ever come across. Of course, he proved himself wrong in the semester exam, but that is another story 😉
    Most of us do not even bother to dwell upon it. That you took time out, is commendable indeed.
    In my personal opinion, you should do it periodically. Will give you an idea of the trend you know… And, do add a “what I want to be” section as well- it will change with time, but there will be something that would stick- and that would be a real discovery. How does that sound?

  11. You now have me thinking about what makes me, me. I have a cat, Mittens that looks just like your Chester. I absolutely agree about putting something away, pulling it out sometime later, and it’s just the greatest toy in the world. Now, what makes me, me?

  12. sorry, I’m tired and couldn’t be bothered to read all of that, but wanted to comment about the picture.

    To me, it looks like a bird. The circle the head, the black triangle a beak, and the blue triangles being wings 🙂

  13. You painted with the colors of both the American and the Philippine Flag. Coincidentally, we are currently celebrating our Independence Day here in the Philippines. The US DND and the Philippine DND are establishing closer relationships in order to safeguard our natural resources from third party nations. 😀

  14. I love what you painted. I usually don’t like paintings but yours spoke to me and I could so relate to it. It was nice to find out so much about you. You are so young and yet so talented. You have inspired me to possibly do a similar post to let my followers learn more about me. Thanks for the great idea!

    1. Aw thank you so much 🙂 I’m really inspired that you got so much from the painting. You should definitely write a similar post. It was actually quite fun to do

  15. A long time ago, a friend forwarded one of those “tell me one hundred things about yourself” and I copped out. I only shared silly or superficial things out of fear. I loved the way you dug deeper, and you’ve inspired me to have another go at the one hundred things idea. You are strong and brave! And I love Chester. 🙂

  16. Thank you for sharing of yourself. I can definitely relate to Chester! Nothing like a snooze in something new or something you haven’t seen for awhile! Sizi

  17. “…But the truth is that no person ever understands another, from beginning to end of life, there is no truth that can be known, only the story we imagine to be true, the story they really believe to be true about themselves; and all of them lies.” – Orson Scott Card from the novel Children of the Mind

  18. You are an amazing young woman! So happy to know you and follow your blog. PS, you write extremely well. 🙂

  19. Hi Megan!
    I just wanted to say that I have had a lot going on when I was moving with my family to a few places which messed me up for any type of socializing until now. All I had to do was think outside the box. Do you find yourself thinking inside or outside the box?
    Rodney

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