What I Want to Be

Deer :)
Deer 🙂

I love this time of year, except for the dreaded humidity.  Anyone who is from the Midwest, particularly Indiana, knows what I’m talking about, when the air is so thick you can see it.  My OCD is partially dormant for now and I am doing great.  I’ve had the chance to focus on my health and just take care of my well being without going to such extreme lengths to avoid certain things.  

For the last few weeks, I’ve seen a family of deer in the woods in front of my house.  They are getting braver and braver because sometimes I’ll look out the window and they will be only about 10 feet from the house.  They also don’t scare easily anymore and I can get pretty close to them.  The other day, I noticed that one of them was a baby.  I probably would not have seen it had it not walked into the open for a bit.  It was so tiny and cute.  I finally grabbed my camera and snapped a picture of one of them.  Last night, I was by myself writing in my journal.  Chester was next to me chilling on the couch.  It was totally quiet.  Suddenly, we both jumped at the sound of something screaming.  It sounded like it was in pain.  I went outside to see what it was, but it was getting too dark and I don’t see well in low lighting, so I couldn’t see anything.  Interestingly, when I went outside, it stopped shortly thereafter.  I went back in and it started up again.  It was so eerie that I was getting chills.  I finally just turned on the dishwasher to drown out the noise (and clean the dishes, obviously).  Looking back, I wonder if it was the fawn?  😦

Anyway, that’s what was going down when I was writing in my journal an idea that I got for a post from fellow blogger Tatsat.  He gave me the idea to write about “what I want to be.”  While sitting on the couch, I started writing a few things to finish the sentence “I want to be…” and I just kept coming up with things.  The list could probably go on for quite a while more, but it’s probably not humanly possible to be all of those things at once.  Some of what I wrote is the same thing just said in a different way, so forgive that.  Here is the list that I came up with in my journal:

I want to be:

  • a caring person
  • a loving sister, daughter, and spouse
  • someone who is valued
  • an educated woman
  • an accepting person
  • generous with the gifts I have been given
  • charitable
  • an author
  • self-accomplished
  • more understanding and patient
  • able to see past the now and keep the future in perspective
  • a successful professional
  • someone who is remembered for the good I have done
  • a skilled artist
  • more mindful of the things I say
  • less irritable
  • a homeowner, someday
  • debt free for most of my life
  • able to look at myself in the mirror and see beauty.
Chester sitting at the window prior to me taking deer pic
Chester sitting at the window prior to me taking deer pic

Yeah, I just wanted to share a picture of Chester 😉 This is one of his favorite spots.

This is everything that I wrote in my journal and I’m glad I shared it.  This gives me a lot to think about.

I’d love it if you could share some of your own!

Thank you for reading 🙂
-M

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91 thoughts on “What I Want to Be

  1. I am from Northeast Indiana and I indeed know what you’re talking about in regards to the humidity. It makes yard work that much more of a pain, and we haven’t even gotten to July.

    Thanks for sharing Chester. We had a red-tailed hawk in one of our pine trees last summer. So far this summer we’ve only had the neighbor cat taunting our miniature schnauzer Otto.

    1. I’m looking forward to a nuclear Indiana summer aren’t you? 😉 it’s already so humid and these storms aren’t helping matters! I’m so glad to meet a fellow Hoosier 🙂

      1. I’m looking forward to fall already. Sadly, I think that nuclear Indiana summer is right around the corner.

        Great to meet you as well! At least we can empathize with each other this summer!

      1. Lol I completely understand! I have a orange tabby cat who we lovingly call “Princess”…now the thing about Princess is that she knows that cats were worshiped in ancient Egypt and she has never forgotten that and prefers to be treated as such! 🙂

  2. I really like the “what I want to be” idea you got from your friend. It’s funny… I see that and remember how I would have rolled my eyes at it five years ago. Now, I see it and my first thought is, “Oh my God! I need to do that.” I think I’m much better off now lol.

  3. We are so much alike its scarey. I believe everyone is insecure about their looks, and abilities, but always look for the positive and everything will look bright. Hope it wasn’t the fawn.

  4. I love your list, it encorporates a lot of different parts of life. I share a lot of those ideas but what I want most is to be calm, relaxed, happy and to enjoy silence rather than being afraid of it.

    1. That’s a very lovely set of things to work on. I have been taking some time out of each evening to just sit in silence, perhaps reading or not. It’s amazing how peaceful the world can be if we take the time to just listen to it.

  5. In love what you inspire to be. 🙂
    I want to be genuinely happy and feel unconditional love. The money side I have been lucky enough in life to have had. But, it doesn’t buy me these 2 things I crave. 🙂
    Hugs Paula xxx

  6. First, I am from Indiana so that was interesting to have you mention that. Are you from Indiana? I am about 45 miles NE of Indy, outside Anderson.
    Second, not sure about this, but when clicked on the Contact page for you, my info was put in there. I can’t do that, so I am not sure what the problem is.
    Just letting you know.
    Scott

    1. I am in Indiana 🙂 Bloomington actually. That’s too funny. I’m actually just watching the weather on Fox 59. I think the contact info page is a form you can fill out and it will email me. I think I’ll re title it contact me 🙂

  7. lol…this made me smile and laugh out loud. I already like your home and back yard just from your description. Deers and fawns? sounds like a picture out of a story book. It’s not surprising you have a soft spot for the animals, I see you and Chester are very close. Your list is wonderful and it made me laugh out loud because there are quite a few things there I would so much like in my life as well. I have however decided on the realistic ones for my sanity.
    1.caring person
    2.more mindful of the things I say
    3. able to see past the now, and keep the future in perspective.
    4.someone remembered by the goods I’ve done.

    My list is so long,maybe because I desire too much, but this was beautiful to read. If that’s your picture at the end, then relax dear, you are still young;so much can happen in a lifetime. 🙂

    1. Chester and I are very close, but perhaps that is just from the small apartment 😉 I’m kidding. I like the things you could relate to on my list. I think those are all very achievable and I’m certain much more manageable than the list I created that was probably wishful thinking 🙂

  8. We get rain here in the Northwest, but rarely humidity, though once I spend a month in Omaha, ok it was a week, in July, so I know of what you speak!! UGH.

    And Megan, we see beauty everytime we see you and what you write! 🙂

  9. I am glad to know you are a fellow Hoosier. I lived in Bloomington for 2 1/2 years before I got married. I loved going to school there. My kids might be moving there if my boy decides to finish his schooling at IU. I live in northwest Indiana. On the lake just outside of Chicago. I hate the humidity of the summer but the lake does help out some. I love your writing and learning more about you. I hope you get to enjoy the family of deer all summer. 🙂

    1. It’s funny how us Hoosiers attract one another 🙂 I love the lake. It can be so beautiful! Iu is great too, but I’m a little biased 😉

  10. Beautiful Chester. That is a lovely photo. I think Chester is looking at you, like I am, and saying “But I think you are already most of those things on your list!” I think Chester would say you are caring 😉

  11. Great Read…
    Loved the list. I think we could have a huge list of we sat and thought..

    From Scotland with love..x

  12. Now we are talking 🙂
    You have deer coming around at your place? WOW! That would be like a dream around here…
    The list is comprehensive! Its refreshing to see that everything in there is about you, and not so much about the world around. You see the problem comes only when we take up joint projects. With expectations come the setbacks 😦 I learned it the hard way.

    I wish you all the very best with every single wish of yours. They are very achievable, and am most certain that with someone as bright as you, it is just a matter of time.

    1. We have so many deer 🙂 So much so, that they have to be hunted to keep the population down. I’m so glad you like the list! Thank you for sharing the idea. I have been struggling for post ideas lately and this helped out a lot 🙂

      Best
      megan

  13. Funny! I have been thinking along the same lines when it comes to my daughter not myself. She wants to be a pediatric surgeon and ENT, opera singer and sing in her favorite movie “The Hobbit”. All of this while battling hearing loss… It’s wonderful to be eleven (That is what I want to be: a child again- at least at heart).

    1. That is too sweet 🙂 Your daughter is an inspiration and I know she will achieve great things. When I was 11, I was more worried about who was going to play Barbies with me 😉

    1. Aw I live foxes. I have seen two in my life. They are definitely sly and difficult to see but they’re definitely here. Could be a possibility 🙂

  14. Send some of your summer heat to the rainy UK! What a pleasure to find your blog, I admire anyone who care be open about issues. Thank you for finding my blog. Xx

  15. I liked the photo of the deer and of course, Chester. He is a very sweet cat with expressions on his face. I also loved your list of qualities or characteristics you want to have! Very nice list and a wonderful idea that you are sharing from Tatsat. NIce that you named the fellow blogger, too!

  16. Thank you for sharing. It takes courage!

    All I want to be is myself, in other words, true to myself. To me this means having the courage to say what I really think when the people around me think differently. It means following my inner knowing. It means not keeping quiet when I see an injustice taking place. Most of all it means accepting myself enough to do all the above.

    Best wishes to you 😉

      1. I don’t know if anyone perfects this, it may be the real journey in life. I know it’s easier now that I’m 49 than it was in my 20s and 30s. It’s certainly easier with people I’m close to and far more challenging when I’m in fear of judgment. I am happy to say that in the moments I’ve found the courage with strangers I have been more welcomed than I had imagined I would be. I hope you discover the same thing.

  17. Chester’s bright stripes caught the light nicely in this picture.
    I want to be well rested, cheerful, calm, friendly,and observant. I also want to be active, outspoken, lively, silly, and carefree (almost a contradiction of the first group of goals). Usually I hit these goals about 85%. 🙂

    1. His fur is so shiny and reflective, which I think means that he has a healthy coat and skin. He photographs really well. Your goals are great. I agree with them all. I need to work on all of these, most importantly being active. I live a terribly sedentary life 😦

      1. He’s beautiful. How does he stay fit, since he doesn’t seem much more active than me? I have to force myself to take walks a couple of times a week. Being busy isn’t as refreshing as a little time outdoors

      2. I keep him on an indoor, weight control food so that he doesn’t gain a lot of weight. We actually had to take him off of kitten food before he was quite a year old because it was causing him to gain weight. It helps that he’s constantly running around the house like he sees invisible prey 🙂

  18. Hey! That was great to read about your wanting to be list & the deer. Wonder if that deer happened to get stuck maybe. I have noticed it was easier if you actually sit & listen to those sounds for a little while like 5-10 minutes just sitting to get acquainted with where those sounds come from. I used to sit for a hour or so & practice listening instead of drowning out those sounds. It’s like everything else we do. We just need to adjust & teach ourselves how to get accustomed to those sounds because they can become important in our lives sometime. I learned this when I was bored & living with my parents as I was out of high school & working on a part time basis. It was so nice in a way!
    Rodney

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