Little By Little: Session 3 of Therapy

DSC_0341I’m shaking it up with my blogging location, as you can see from the picture above.  I just want to sit here, peppermint tea in hand, watching a little bit of “the Office” (which you can see on the TV), and blogging.  I’m also Skyping with my sister with Chester sleeping like a cutie behind my head on the couch.  I prop my back on the pillow, cover myself with the blanket, and have the TV on in front of me, not so much for what’s on it, but more so because of the familiar sound of a show I love so much.  This is how I relax after a long day.  

Well, I think I’m doing well with blogging more often.  I haven’t written this many posts in a row in awhile, if ever.  It feels relieving in a way that I can’t explain and it doesn’t seem quite so lonely here in this little apartment.  I appreciate so much every person who stops by and leaves a bit of encouragement.  Thank you so much 🙂

Today I had my 3rd therapy session.  We discussed how I was doing with the hand washing.  My goal was to cut down the number of times I wash my hands into half.  I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t easy.  Sometimes the urge to wash my hands multiple times is really strong, so I had to make a conscious effort to stop after just once or twice.  The purpose is for me to see that hand washing excessively doesn’t mean that it will prevent the things I worry about.  I took the effort because I want to improve myself and I am doing better.  I don’t worry nearly as much when I’m washing my hands and I take a lot less time doing so.  It’s good to see some progress already.  Even though it’s been only 3 sessions, I can see slight changes toward the better already.  If nothing else, then it’s a great opportunity for me to talk extensively about my issues with someone who is knowledgable and understanding.

Just two more days in the week and then it’s the weekend again 🙂  I know they happen every week, but the weekends are pretty awesome.

Thanks for reading!

Megan

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75 thoughts on “Little By Little: Session 3 of Therapy

    1. It’s such a great show 🙂 The last seasons were definitely not as great as any of the seasons with Steve Carell. I’ll be honest, I almost cried when he returned during the last episode…

      1. Agreed – though there were still some great Jim/Dwight moments in those last few seasons.

        It’s never an easy thing to end a show but I think that the series finale was extremely well done. I liked how it wasn’t necessarily focused on Michael Scott, but his appearance was perfect!

      2. There were 🙂 Other than Jim and Dwight, the rest of the characters were just so so and I didn’t like any of the new ones they introduced 😦

  1. It does get better, and having a knowledgeable therapist is a key factor. It sounds as though you’re already realizing your patterns and starting to cognizantly break them. Great job!!!

    1. Thank you! I think the only way to break the cycle is to be aware of my actions and what they mean to me. It’s not easy and a knowledgeable therapist to guide me is certainly key 🙂

    1. Thank you 🙂 It takes a lot of courage indeed, but it’s gotten easier to talk about my issues publicly over these past few months. I’ve learned that there’s no shame in being honest 🙂

  2. It’s great to hear that your sessions are going so well. Also, I love your living room set-up. Nice furniture, great layout, very clean, neatly organized and cozy. Great job on decorating. For things like that OCD can actually come in quite handy. 🙂

    1. Thank you! My living room is quite lovely and it’s one of the few places in this world, besides the rest of my home of course, where I can truly relax. OCD is great at keeping my house clean! 🙂

    1. Thank you Tony! It’s starting to feel more normal blogging daily, but it’s not always easy to know what to write about. How do you get inspiration?

      1. Finding what to write about is definitely the hardest part for me too. I do the same things every day, so there definitely has to be some kind of inspiration out of nowhere 😉

      2. For the record I just told Michelle you asked where I get the ideas to post daily. She said, “that’s easy! You (meaning me) are a chatter box!” I disagree with this completely! 🙂

      3. Haha! I can see that 🙂 You’re a great storyteller, so much so that it’s almost like I know how you talk from your writing. Believe it or not, I’m kind of the same way when I’m around people I feel comfortable around 🙂

    1. Thank you! I know it seems small to some, but for those with OCD or other anxiety disorders, the smallest things really do help 🙂 Thanks for appreciating that.

  3. That’s really great that you’re finding therapy helpful. It sounds like you’ve found a great therapist. I like how she gives you challenges and doesn’t just sit there and listen. All the best!

  4. I really do believe we would get along so well. I love The Office! What is your favorite episode? I like the water mark one, and the short opening where Jim comes in dressed as Dwight.

    I’m really glad to hear that therapy is helping you so much! It is nice to have someone to talk to, who doesn’t have a biased opinion. I mentioned before that I went for my anxiety disorder this past spring semester (they offer free counseling at my school). I think I may go back in the fall. I’ve seen so much improvement with my anxiety, but there are still some things I need to work out. Either way, that is awesome how you are noticing improvement! Keep it up, girly! (:

    1. It is nice to have someone who will listen and not judge me or make insensitive comments, which has been the best thing about seeing a therapist thus far. I started therapy when I was in college and it was free, but since I’ve graduated I can’t go to the same one. Oh well 🙂

      That is a great episode 😉 My favorite is the one when Toby comes back from Costa Rica. Michael’s reaction is one of the best moments in television acting in my opinion. I also love another Toby-related episode when Michael has to see him for counseling after spanking his nephew. My favorite Office quote is taken straight out of Threat Level Midnight, “Well, the joke’s on you! That man is a wanted animal rapist.” Referring to Toby yet again 🙂

      1. I couldn’t agree more. (:

        Haha I love Toby! I always feel so bad for him. He puts up with everything and I find that hilarious. Threat Level Midnight is such a great episode, as well as the Costa Rica one. I stopped watching The Office after Micheal Scott left because I knew it wasn’t going to be the same. Steve Carrell is The Office, in my opinion. I really like the one where Dwight practices phone calls with Jim and Jim says his name is Bill Buttlicker. Bahaha! So great!

      2. I know I feel so bad for him too, but the things that happen to him are just too hilarious. 🙂 The last few season without him were definitely not the same!

  5. I have a lot of OCD issues. When I was living on my own, my own apartment, no roommates, and an occasional b/f, this was just the way I lived. I never saw anything wrong with it. I would go over to other people’s houses, and would just want to stand in the middle of the room: not sit on the couch, sit; not get involved with anything they were doing in the kitchen; and, in general, I was just not helpful or forthcoming like many women are, especially with their in-laws. I never asked if they wanted help in the kitchen, could I watch their children (I have never had any of my own), and when they were sick or had a need, I would be more than happy to bake a casserole, but I would be the last person to go to their house to help. Caregiving is out for me as well. I hate it, but I have to be honest and say I really can’t stand taking care of other’s physically. I have also had a ‘type A’ personality.
    So, since I have discovered all these issues what have I done about them? Nothing really. My second ex-husband began to need more caretaking, and yet he wasn’t even trying to take care of himself, instead, sabotaging anything the doctors and I did for his health. Since I had a stomach surgery and discovered I had 5 ulcers, 2 bleeding, I have had to tone down my Type A personality issues. And, in living with others, as I have been forced to do over and over again, I have to realize I can control only my immediate living space, usually my bedroom, as far as the OCD issues. I still have issues with cleanliness, and am not comfortable in other people’s homes. I found that washing my hands all the time was creating really dry hands, so I started using the antibacterial fluid, even though I hear that is bad as well.
    So, this was a rather long answer to your question, but that is just the tip of the iceberg. Thanks for giving me the outlet to answer. Don’t worry about not being on everyday as to blogging: sometimes it is good to just get away from the whole thing, and other times it is good to just read what others have written. It is like listening to a friend for lunch, realizing at the end of the meeting, you didn’t say much, but she talked a lot. Then as my true friend and sister tells me: It was just your day to talk.

    1. This was an awesome response. I appreciate your openness and honesty so much. You sound a great deal like myself. In fact, I sound exactly like this. I have never been one to enjoy care-giving, not even a little. I babysat one summer for quite a bit of money, but I hated every minute of it. That only spurred my belief that children are germ factories. I hate going to other people’s houses too. That just terrifies me. It never ceases to amaze me that every time I do go to someone’s house, they have inevitably just gotten over an illness or something of the like. Instant discomfort. I totally get you. I can’t deal with sick people either. I don’t know what I’d do if I had children and had to take care of them if they were sick. Hence the reason why I don’t want children. I’ve often thought of myself as lacking empathy for others. I used to be the kid who would laugh when another child fell on the playground, still kind of am. Anyway, it’s great that you shared this with me. It is quite a relief to know that there are others like me out there in the world who are experiencing the same issues and struggles. Thank you 🙂
      megan

      1. You are quite welcome. I have learned over the years, it is far better to share than to hoard all the adversity and pain we feel in life. We don’t have to drop it on others, but in this atmosphere, one can choose to read it or not. I do not have children, and I too hated babysitting. I could also tell you a couple of stories about when my sister had fallen or been scared, and I laughed, until my Mom really got mad at me. I still laugh today, and she still acts like it was a big friggin’ trauma. Now she has the screwed up 20 son, and I am totally knowing where I am going and my boundaries are set. Write anytime. I read the blogs, even if I don’t post all the time. I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia, plus a couple other stupid issues weighing my physical body down, so sometimes blogging is just too much for me, especially on deep subjects. But, I will promise, if you write me, I will answer as soon as I read it. I might be a personal answer, and not a whole blog of my own, but I will answer you. Love ya.

      2. My sister and I are like night and day too. I love her and she is one of my best friends, but we have WAY different views of the world. She is preparing to be a mother for a second time and I can’t even imagine being a mother once. I commend her for that. You and I sound like two birds of a feather. I’m happy to get to know you 🙂
        best
        megan ❤

  6. Going to therapy within itself is a huge feat! While it is incredibly difficult, it is also very rewarding. I’m glad you are already having success!
    Best Wishes!

  7. Thanks for sharing about your therapy sessions! I especially liked your statement that the purpose is to see that hand washing excessively doesn’t mean that it will prevent the things you worry about.
    Reading the part where you say you take a lot less time washing your hands, I wondered how you use that “new” time. Does it make a noticeable difference in that you have more time to do things?

    1. That’s a great question actually 🙂 If I take a long time to wash my hands, it in reality doesn’t take more than five minutes, which is more than the average, but not terribly long. It just allows me to get back to work quicker, not kill my skin, and to not focus on the worry so much. I think it’s the anticipation of it all that worries me the most, thus instilling the need to wash my hands over and over. I hope this makes some sense 😉

      1. It does make sense 🙂 I imagine reducing the hand-washing would make the anxiety worse at first if you have to force yourself not to do it, but as you get used to it, take pressure off you and make you more free in your thoughts as well.

      2. That’s a feeling I know only too well! When there’s a very specific thought in my head, but somehow it sounds different when I put it into words… the good thing about blogs is that the wording doesn’t have to be perfect for to be published 😀

  8. I like the fact that you are blogging more. I am sorry for the slow response, but my kids moved out last Friday. I hope to now have more time myself to blog and connect with my blogging friends. It is good to mix up where you blog from. Right now I am on my sectional instead of at my desk. I am happy to hear that therapy seems to be helping. It might take time, but in the end it will be worth it. 🙂

    1. No worries! I’m just glad you’re back. Hope your kids are faring well. I know the students are slowly trickling back here and the streets are getting just that much more crowded.

  9. talking to someone knowledgeable is a big help…I have to agree. I don’t feel nearly the optimism you do after my sessions to date…but I do like the therapist…so I’m hanging in there.

      1. me too…I think I have to consider that it may be doing good…if my resistance is lowered and I am feeling my pain. It sounds backwards…but maybe it isn’t….

        🙂

      2. I think I’ve learned a great deal in the 4 sessions I’ve had already, but I’m not sure where we can go further. I’m considering either stopping therapy or going somewhere else. She’s great and all, but I’d rather have someone who gave me advice more than listened.

      3. I’m thinking in my case, that its really about the organic process of relationship. Trust is not my best suit, I think giving her a chance to learn about me, might be the only way she can help me.

        She has such enthusiasm for learning about me….I would like that for everyone who is in therapy…that the person you are going to hare your story with, has excitement in them to know you.

        I have moments where I really don’t want to do it anymore…but another session, another day…I don’t know, I think we have to be willing to try it one moment at a time. An that’s not easy for OCD or OCPD because we have to control the situation and obtain results. JUST BEING without tasks or assignments, makes us very nervous. 🙂 *hugs*

      4. Thank you for sharing so openly. I’l be honest, I’m taking a hiatus from therapy. I enjoyed it when I went, but it is difficult to take off work so much and then have to make up the time. That’s stressful in itself 😉 I’m encouraged by your willpower in keeping on with therapy. Your therapist sounds great 🙂

      5. She is pretty awesome…but it is a struggle to go. I read recently that CBT doesn’t work if the person in it is under stress…so it sounds to me like you made a good choice. ❤ Be well, keep taking care of you.

      6. Thank you friend. I just didn’t think that it was working that well for me at this time, but I’d like to continue it sometime later.

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