Clean Car and Grocery Hell


I feel like I’ve failed.  I’m not being totally serious, but I do feel bad for not posting anything last night.  I guess it is finally becoming second nature to write a daily post.  I was so tired last night.  Probably because I woke up earlier than I usually do and I took a rather large dose of Z-Quil.  Guilty!  I’ll be honest, I don’t have sleeping issues, but this stuff makes sleeping AWESOME.  I am totally out and it helps me sleep in on the weekends.  I usually wake up with the slightest noise, but the Z-Quil knocked me out.

As you can see, Chester and I have just been relaxing after a few tiring experiences.  I like how he’s almost falling out of his little bed.

Anyway, I had an interesting day thus far.  I don’t think I’ve shared this before, but the place I hate going the most is the grocery store.  I have been holding out as long as possible, but I finally ran out of even the most basic of things.  I don’t know what it is, but I can’t stand going there.  I don’t mind it so much when my boyfriend is with me, but when I have to go by myself, it’s just too much.  I spent literally five minutes total in the grocery store because I am just that quick.  I’m like lightening in there.  I already have a game plan before I go inside, so that I can spend as little time in there as possible.  People actually look at me funny because I’m moving so quickly.  I don’t care though 🙂  My palms were sweating and my heart was beating so fast.  I checked out and went to my car, threw the groceries in the back, and put the cart away.  I usually use hand sanitizer as soon as I get in my car, but of course, I didn’t have it in my purse.  I don’t know how this happened, but it made me freak out all the more.  I guess it’s the combination of too many people and having to touch the disgusting cart handle.

I was so relieved to get home, but when I did, I noticed that my car had a few bird presents on the hood.  This happened on my old car once and it ate the paint off 😦  Word to the wise, don’t leave bird poo on your car for long at all!  Bad stuff.  Anyway, I just had to wash my car.  I don’t go to the car wash because that would just stress me out too.  The timer gives me too much anxiety.  Luckily, my complex has a place to wash cars and I already have all the supplies.  I washed my car and got such a workout from it.  Of course I overdid it.  I always do.  I tend to wash and rewash and then wash a third time.  I always see something that is still dirty.  The wheels were so gross, and I even washed them meticulously with my detailing brush.  Needless to say, my car looks awesome, but I’m exhausted and I think I dehydrated myself.



My boyfriend’s car (one on the left) is still pretty dirty.  I had all intentions of washing it too, but I’m dead right now.

I am just going to take this evening and read my new kindle download, “The Thorn Birds,”  and I’m thinking about rewatching American Beauty.  I watched it with my boyfriend the first time and to take a movie seriously, I have to watch it by myself.

I’m glad to be posting again 🙂

Thank you so much for reading!



82 thoughts on “Clean Car and Grocery Hell

  1. I am like you when it comes to the grocery store. Thankfully, lately I have been pretty successful at talking myself through it. Here at the Kroger store they supply sanitizing wipes so you can wipe off the cart handle and stuff at where you get your cart. Maybe you could suggest it there 😉

    1. Kroger and Marsh have sanitizing wipes at the door near the carts, but I shop at a local chain and they do not. 😦 Perhaps I should suggest it though!

    1. It’s funny, I think I’m the only female in this complex that washes my car. It’s actually something that I love to do 🙂 It’s a big investment, so i can’t see how someone couldn’t take care of their car.

      1. It’s rare to find anyone -male or female- that take pride in their vehicles anymore. We live in such a disposable society these days. It’s great to see someone who appreciates what they have.

      2. The idea of living simply is not as popular as it should be. I hate it when school ends and students will throw good furniture away instead of donating it or even trying to sell it. I rarely buy stuff new if I can help it. It is sad that things are less valued these days 😦

  2. Don’t ever feel guilty about not posting. It’s better to wait and write something good, than to post simply because you feel obligated to do so. All your fans will understand.

    I agree about shopping — and just wrote about it yesterday. It is an anxious experience for me, too (though not as bad as the dentist — that gets to me.)

    Hmm…I just might have to blog about that 🙂 Thanks for being inspiring!

    1. Thank you Joe 🙂 That’s very kind. I get things into my mind sometimes, such as blogging every night, that I feel I HAVE to do. It’s sometimes difficult for me to tell myself that I don’t have to do them. I have never had a problem going to the dentist (probably because my dentist looks like a Greek god) 😉 But, I think you should definitely write about it. I KNOW there are others out there with anxieties about the dentist.

      1. Maybe I will — now the only question is whether to approach it seriously, humorously — or both 🙂

  3. 🙂
    The attention you give your cat. I’m guessing that is timeless and unconditional. Words fail you? Correct?

    I have cats so know what I mean at least 😀

    That is intuitive. It needs no words to describe it.100% love and attention. Now take your partner or anyone else for that matter and apply the same rule. Up start to pop words, stories and descriptions, histories. Biases, defences and what has that got to do with you anyway? That is the ego in action. 🙂

    You can pay that much loving intuitive attention to yourself. I will explain which part observes soon or you can read my blog.

    First, if you try, you will notice/examine ego comments and thoughts ‘after’ you have said or thought them. Question the morality and the possible gain from that emotion or thought/action. If you carry on, after a while you will notice the ego ‘while’ you are saying ego thoughts or even mindless comments usually conaining I or ME.

    You may pull some funny faces at yourself. This can be normal as you adjust to now and observe language you know to be just to “fit-in” or about making yourself shine in a better light. You will notice your fakeness as you look in the mirror to see how you look at this time if you are really being attentive to yourself truthfully and without using labels, descriptions or stories to think it in your head. If you are then particularly persistant, you can catch yourself before saying them and avoid it altogether if you wish.

    What then appears is a more balanced person, often taking time to answer, but for a sounder psychological foundation, some unbiased thought is a small pay-off. Considering we give so much away for so little every day to those who might be wiser than us about our ability to wear our emotions on our sleaves, and possibly tap into those intrinsic needs, ‘Life’ reveals itself as possibly complete rip-off.

    As that happens, you become aware of the intricacies and other awarenesses of your own mind. You see junk inputs for what they really are. All of them. Distractions from the constant ability of awareness.

    Slowly, the need for separation from the distractions becomes apparent. And that truth sets you free. 🙂

  4. Sometimes when I read your posts I can’t help but think about my own habits. I definitely do some of the same things, but I never really thought that it was a compulsion until I ask the question ‘would I ever do anything else in these circumstances?’ and the answer comes back ‘no’. I can’t stand those trolley handles either! By the way, your cat looks exactly like mine!

    1. Thank you so much for sharing. I know life can be difficult if you don’t understand why you are the way you are. I was certainly that way. I’ve always thought my behaviors were odd and I was always the weird one in my friend group. Now that I have a name to go with it, it just helps me feel a little less crazy 🙂 Have you ever written about some of your troubles? It’s helped me tremendously.

    1. Lists are a good idea to keep your mind on track and to not stray from what you want to buy. I do this sometimes with my boyfriend, but I’m too frazzled to have one if I go by myself.

  5. I completely understand anxiety. I deal with this on a daily basis due to my mood disorder. I don’t like going to the grocery store unless I’m with my husband because it is too overwhelming and makes me very anxious. Anxiety is the reason why I don’t like shopping period. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one with this issue!

      1. I know! When I read your post, I thought you were talking about me without even knowing it! 🙂

  6. I hate grocery shopping too, but for different reasons. I order my groceries online as much as possible. I wonder if grocery stores, supermarkets realise how much many people dislike their stores.

    1. I have never ordered groceries online, but that sounds awesome! I know there’s a place called Peapod that delivers. I want to try this now 🙂 I think grocery stores do that to get us in and out of there faster. Terrible places really 🙂

      1. YES! online grocery shopping is the best! unfortunately it is only available at Safeway, and they tend to be more expensive..but i still shop here online about half the time, as i cant make myself go to the store, its just too overwhelming, overstimulating, and makes it hard not to dissociate.

      2. I am going to have to check this out. I think it would be so relieving to get at least some of the things I need through the mail. One less stress in my life 🙂

  7. my problems are PTSD and DID and Bipolar, and i absolutely hate going to the grocery store. between the anxiety and hypervigilance caused by the PTSD, and the dissociation related to the DID, i absolutely become so easily overwhelmed, so panicked, and immediately soo so tired, just drop dead exhausted, it is a major outing for me to go shopping and not leave before its done. congrats to you for being able to be so quick (its takes me forever to get everything!) 🙂

  8. Earlier, my friend shared her dislike for the grocery store. Reading your post is like Deja vu! You would really rather go to the dentist, though?! Great post! Oh, and your car is CLEAN!!!

    1. That is so funny 🙂 It is a terrible place that’s for sure. I would definitely rather go to the dentist. I’ve had so much orthodontic work done that I’m an old pro and a cleaning is nothing 🙂 Plus, my dentist is gorgeous!

  9. I tend to dislike the grocery store, but more because of my tendency to have a grocery version of road rage. I swear there is always someone who walks right in front of what you want and stops to check their phone or look at a list, or just has to look at ever label on every can of peas. Drives me crazy. I tend to go later at night when I can, like eight or nine just so I don’t have to deal with so many people.

    As for the grocery carts, I really don’t like thinking about it 🙂 Makes for a stronger immune system!

    1. I laughed so much when I read this. I love the idea of grocery store road rage. I actually get this too because I’m just trying to get in and out as quickly as possible, but someone is always moseying about like he or she is the only person in the store! I really can’t stand that either.

  10. Hey, what a coincidence I watched American Beauty on my own last night too. First time for me. I though it was brilliant, touching, & surprising.

    I’ve noticed a few of our local supermarkets having “trolley sanitizer wipes” near the entry, so it is becoming a common concern. I love the idea of cloth gloves. Have seen a few ladies using them and looking very elegant. Wonder how a guy could get away with it?

    1. That is too interesting 🙂 That we both watched American Beauty last night I mean. Very cool 🙂 I’m glad I watched it again because it is a great movie. It sort of gave me chills because as a 17 year old, I had the exact same experience as Angela. I hated that Kevin Spacey’s character was killed 😦 I love him though, so that’s why.

      I think you could definitely get away with it 🙂 Just wear them and act as if it’s totally normally and then it will be 🙂

  11. I’ve never liked grocery store carts. Whenever I see a child (who’s sitting in the top) with their hands all over the handle and putting said hands in mouth I feel like being ill. Part of my therapy was actually forcing myself to push the cart by the handle. It wasn’t easy, because I’d worry about getting the things I bought dirty when I picked them up. Sometimes I’ll just pull the cart next to me, my reasoning being that less people have touched that part.

    Have you ever tried to increase exposure by simply going to a grocery store and walking around? Not going to specifically buy something, but just to ‘be there’?

    Your car looks pretty darn good all cleaned up though 🙂

    1. Those baby seat parts in the cart are horrible. I know exactly what you mean. It doesn’t help when I hear that carts are dirtier than a public toilet. I usually touch the cart with two fingers. Do you open doors at odd places too because people are less likely to touch those places? I do this all the time.

      I haven’t thought about visiting the grocery store when I don’t need to go, but I like the idea. It’s just down the road so I may just do that today.

      Megan ❤

      1. Yuck. Yeah it’s not cool. A lot of stores up here provide wipes to clean the handle if you so desire. Yeah doors can be hard sometimes too. I’m the same way. I wonder which part might have less traffic on it.

        Hope you’re able to have a visit. Let me know how it goes 🙂

      2. I am ashamed 😦 I didn’t go to the grocery. I did go to the pharmacy earlier today, but I had to get something. I’m ashamed because I sat on the couch and watched “World Without End” from beginning to the end. I didn’t want it to be over!


      3. Well at least you’re thinking about it! Sometimes we need days to relax and besides, you did go out somewhere 🙂 Maybe some other night you’ll get the chance to stop by and have a stroll. You might actually enjoy looking at all the different products since you probably don’t spend much time seeing what’s available for you to try out!

  12. I do believe that you and I are kindred spirits. I have blogged many times about my aversion to the grocery store. However, I have tried very hard to turn it into an adventure to challenge myself to find one thing beautiful. When I go to the grocery store, I call it a mission, and my mission–get in, get out. In fact, I make my grocery list according to the lay-out of the store, just so that I can do this.I can’t explain the anxiety I experience if they decide to shake things up, and rearrange the store. I also go early in the day to avoid the people–they just slow me down. However, I have to be careful, because too early means they are stocking shelves—which slows me down.

    I have been working at conquering my anxiety/ocd tendencies so much longer than you have. I have learned to basically block some things from my mind. Don’t get me wrong, this took A LOT of practice. I am conscious of the germs all over the store, but I can make it until I get home and then I scrub my hands, put the groceries away, and scrub my hands again.

    My car? The deal with my husband, is that I would take care of the inside of the house, he would take care of the cars and the yard. AND…when my 19-year-old is begging for money, I make him vacuum it regularly.My problem to conquer in that area is trusting that they do a thorough job. :/

    1. Hello dear 🙂

      I see the grocery store as a place where I will have anxiety, but you have taken it as a therapeutic experience of sorts. THis is so admirable. I really need to have a more optimistic view of the world. Sounds like you have a much better game plan when it comes to the grocery store 🙂 I need to take this advice too.

      Some days I are easier for me to not think about germs. These days are usually sunny and everyone at work is happy and smiling and joking. Other days, when someone is out sick or it’s cold and gross outside, I’m in panic mode. I hope to get to where you are one day and just be able to block things from my mind.

      My boyfriend loves to clean his car and mine, so I let him do it to his heart’s content 🙂

      1. It does take tons of work, focus, and practice. I also have to admit, I avoid going to the grocery store until Mother Hubbard’s Cupboard’s are quite bare. Which makes it worse because I have to spend more time in there in order to stock up.

        Keep working at conquering the fear. It may not totally go away, but maybe easier to cope with.

      2. When I’m by myself, I do the same thing. I’ll eat plain bread before I go to the store. I do it out of necessity 😉 When my boyfriend is back, we go religiously every Saturday. Not so bad when he’s there, but still a bit stressful. I definitely have work to do though 🙂

  13. Yeah – grocery stores freak me out too. I try and put my hands on the outside bar part of the bar where I think people don’t touch when pushing if my boyfriend isn’t with me to push it. I also will not put anything in the child seat of the cart. And, then right when I get in my car I hand sanitize. Then my biggest pet peeve is when people drop items on the ground in the store. ugh, I can’t stand it especially when I’m in the produce section and someone drops a veggie or fruit and puts it back on the shelf. It totally grosses me out and makes me freak out even more! I will even switch check out lanes if someone in front of me drops something on the ground unloading their cart. I also won’t grab the first item on the shelf I will grab an item behind it. So I know what you mean when it comes to the grocery store!! It stresses me out! And, I totally open doors at odd places where I think less people have touched! haha.

    1. Not having my hand saniziter was the worst. I actually couldn’t breathe and I was nearly crying because I didn’t have it. The idea of putting germy hands on my steering wheel was pretty overwhelming. I also never pick the first item on the shelf 😉 Funny right? I do a lot of that touching where others probably don’t touch as much thing. Good to know I’m not alone.

  14. I also hate grocery shopping but not necessarily from the cart handle I just plain hate going there and hauling all of it myself, ugh. when I hit the lottery I will never shop for groceries again, this I am sure of. Car looks great honey

  15. I feel bad that you don’t enjoy grocery shopping. I love going and walking up and down the aisles choosing what to buy. The thing I hate to do is go shopping like for clothes. I avoid this at all cost if I can. Your car looks great. I need to clean mine on the inside but there never seems to be time. Maybe next weekend. Have a great week! 🙂

    1. I wish it wasn’t so bad either. The only grocery store I like going to is a place called H-Mart. They are only in the really big cities like Chicago or Boston. They are filled with mostly Korean goods and they have little food stands where you can get Korean food. It’s fun because everything is new to me. I too don’t like clothes shopping 😦 I have a few stores where I know my size and I rarely try stuff on, which I hate so much. I totally get you there 🙂

  16. I just plain hate supermarkets. They are crowded, stocked with a ridiculous array of products, don’t smell right and are arranged to encourage impulse buying. They’re also full of non-foods that mess us up. I’m lucky to live not too far from some healthier and more pleasant alternatives. It’s worth it even though I have to drive further.

    1. I hate big chain grocery stores for the reasons you described exactly. We have a local, whole foods store that I just love to go in and look around. 🙂

  17. I completely understand your anxiety at the supermarket – it happens to me sometimes, especially if I’m feeling particularly low or anxious. I don’t know what it is – maybe too many people? High shelves stacked all around penning you in? Artificial lighting and no windows? I can’t put my finger on one thing, maybe it’s a mixture of all of them. Sometimes I’m fine, sometimes I want to run out. Funny really.

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