Thinking Past The Exhaustion

DSC_0637This isn’t going to be a post about how to get fit or even the details of my exercise routine.  I can write that, but I won’t.  I tried to get a shot of the “equipment” that I use and it appears that Chester was trying to help me out.  The picture below will hopefully give you a better idea of the things I have, but I had to share this one first because Chester is so adorable.  I have another one of him in the action of clamping onto it and another of him rolling on the elastic and thing.  DSC_0631I guess to put his scent on it.  There’s never a dull moment with him, like when I was doing push ups.  He shot out of nowhere and attacked my head, flappy, soft paws just hitting my hair.  It doesn’t hurt when he does that, but it is extremely cute.

Today is my one week anniversary since I made the commitment to get in shape.  I know this doesn’t seem like a long time and it isn’t, technically, but for someone who NEVER exercises, I’m kind of proud of myself.

I have a number of reasons for not exercising prior.  I used to when I was still in college, but since then I have done basically nothing.  Gym memberships are expensive and I just don’t have the money right now.  K goes to the student fitness center and sometimes I go with him, but that gets expensive each time I want a day pass.  Also, I struggle with the amount of people that are usually working out at the same time.  All I can think about is who touched this or who sweat all over that.  It’s difficult for someone with OCD!  Very, very difficult.

Working out at home is really not as motivating as working out in a gym.  Plus, I have to think about the workouts much more because of the lack of having machines to use.

Even considering all of this, the thing that was holding me back most was the extreme fatigue I feel almost all the time.  I didn’t have this until I started taking sertraline to manage some of my behaviors of OCD.  It has turned me into a tired, sleepy turtle.  I admit, initially the fatigue was much worse than it is now, but maybe that’s because I’m used to it now.  It just seems like I want to come home after work and stay on the couch all evening.  I just have no motivation at all to move.  Working out seemed like an incredibly exhausting venture.

I actually can’t believe that I’ve started to exercise again.  It’s been so long since I’ve felt motivation to be active.  I just had to find what motivated me, which in this case is the fact that I am going to get a tattoo in 6 months (I’m on a waiting list).  The fact that my grandmother is suffering so much from congestive heart failure also has something to do with it.  Heart disease runs in both sides of my family, so that was a wake up call for me.

I also had to change my mindset about working out.  I am always thinking that the pain is actually a good pain and not that I want to stop what I’m doing to get comfortable again.  I have to think past the pain and discomfort.

I just hope I can continue to be motivated.  My interests fluctuate so often.  I need to be determined to do this, not only for my health, but also so I can keep my end of the bargain and get the tattoo that I’ve always wanted.

Thanks for reading and for all of the continuous support.


PS Here’s a better photo of the equipment 😉



69 thoughts on “Thinking Past The Exhaustion

  1. I dislike gyms as well. I’m not a people person and I don’t do well in crowds of people that I don’t know. You should have seen me last week, I was so jumpy it was unreal. Try getting a pedometer and including all the walking you do each day as part of your exercise program. You’d be surprised how quickly you rack up the miles without realizing it. That counts towards leg work. I got Reebok Easy Tones a few years ago and now they’re the only sneakers I wear. My calves show it, and I swear they’re the most “in shape” part of me right now. I prefer using my own equipment at home. I’ve got way too much of it though, like most people who dislike gyms. I was supposed to turn my upstairs loft into a workout area when I moved in. It never happened, but I still have hopes of getting my act together.

    1. I hate the crowds at the gyms as well. I always wanted to get the easy tones, maybe I still should 🙂 You seem to really like them, so that’s a good review for me. If I had the space to have a home gym, I definitely would. I hate having to work out in my bedroom or living room. It’s just makes those spaces a little less comfortable.

      1. They’re my every single day sneaker, no matter what. They take a little getting used to initially, but now I can’t wear anything else without tripping over myself. It’s the balance ball technology. When I’m on vacation, I push my legs harder on day trips and I can rack up a lot of mileage in just a few days. It’s a great motivator. You can find them for about 60% off at places like Famous Footwear. The first pair I got were a gift and were full price, but every pair I’ve gotten since then I’ve paid less than $50 for. They always have them in different colors and styles. Reebok outlets also have them for a lot less. My first pair it was all about having the white/blue/silver pair, but now I don’t care what they look like ’cause they’re so comfortable and easy on my feet.
        It’s hard to make room in small spaces for workout equipment. If I had an enormous place, I’d have a home gym and a personal trainer, but I don’t, so I try to keep it as stress free as possible. I’ve got equipment that needs to be moved around and most of it folds up flat, but it’s exhausting to do a lot of it. I also injure myself constantly, so I know what to stop pushing.

      2. I will consider getting some. My tennis shoes are getting a bit worn out anyway, so this might be my next pair. It’s definitely not easy working out in my small apartment. If I want to use the hula hoop, I have to move my kitchen table against the wall. THere’s just not enough room anywhere for me to use it otherwise.

      1. I love them. They make an immense difference in how toned my calves are and in how I walk. I already had really good posture, but these make it better. I don’t suffer from as much foot or walking exhaustion from the Reeboks either. They’re probably not fot everyone, but I definitely love mine.

      2. I love them, but that doesn’t mean everyone will. Also, you will need to size up on these by a half or whole size, depending on what is comfortable for you.
        Two completely different stores told me the sizing was the same when I first looked into them, but after trying on the first pair, I knew the sizing was off. I’m always the exact same size in Reeboks, but on the Easy Tones I have to size up.

    1. haha, that is an amazing item 🙂 It is a hula hoop that Won brought back from Korea. It’s weighted and the balls force you to tighten your muscles. I swear by it. If I do it for 10 minutes a day for 2 weeks, it gives me visible abs 🙂

    1. Good luck……sounds like you are off to a good start and I’m sure you can keep it up…..and then it will just become part of your routine. Good for you and I look forward to hearing more about your upcoming tattoo. 🙂

  2. OK, use your OCD to your advantage. Get a Calendar, hang it on the wall. Write down each day that you exercise. If you get too many blank days, that is a bad thing, you will kick yourself in gear,

    Darn proud of you Megan!

  3. One of the things we can learn from our pets and animals is how they are motivated, or how they get their energy to do things.
    They tend to ‘think’ less and tend to do and be more. I wonder if the clue is in this.
    Recalling childhood I remember being told by my elders phrases like ‘ You are getting tired’ or ‘You need to go to bed’ or ‘You are going to wear myself out’ or ‘this will all end in tears’…
    All these phrases of course are better processed if one changes them so that the person speaker is owning them; so ‘youre getting tired’ becomes ‘I’m getting tired’ and ‘I need You to go to bed’ – hey presto their believes are revealed about where they get their energy from.
    When we beleive that our energy (or motivation) is external to us and limited we lose it. We become listless, tired and demotivated.
    So watch Chester, watch others who seem to go on and on, atheletes, the Sun, plants, and ask where do they get their energy from? Accept happily that you can get all the energy you need simply by stopping for a moment, and charging yourself up from the Universe or God and send a message of Love to yourself and carry on.
    Have an amazing day, and keep up this great blog!

    1. Thank you for sharing such wisdom. I haven’t thought of where energy comes from in that way before. Chester certainly has a great deal of energy. Sometimes I’m pretty sure he is running so fast that he loses gravity. He’s hilarious and he gives me energy in his own way, but I have to find energy within myself.

  4. Your motivation is your tattoo. Hang the pictures you want to choose on the mirror where you exercise to show why you doing it. And machine do not always help. I for one do not like them. Handling a loose weight asks for a bit of balance your muscles need to provide instead of machine.

  5. I am exhausted all the time also, so I feel your pain. I totally understand the lack of motivation. The other day I was frustrated and angry, and all 5 of our dogs were going bananas in the house. So i made my wife get up and we took them out for a walk. I realized the exercise helped. So maybe when you start to feel a little less fatigued because you are exercising it will be a bit easier. You are a brave soul. Carry on “souldier”. Chester is very cute…seems he wants to keep you around, and he is giving you hints to keep on exercising. I looks a lot like on of my cats!
    Good luck

    1. That sounds like a lot of chaos 😦 I can imagine that your fatigue must have been pretty terrible. I definitely empathize with you. I have struggled with fatigue for most of my life. It has gotten better with exercise though.

  6. Go ahead and celebrate your hard work! That hula hoop sounds amazing…I can’t remember if you’re much of a music person, but I can only work out if I feel like I’m having fun – last night I had myself a little dance party on our deck with my cat and my iPod.

    About your family history, I get the feeling you’re a pretty healthy eater, right? A low sodium diet is really good for your heart. We had to switch to this kind of lifestyle last year after my dad had a heart event. You can still splurge on salty Korean food (my fav are those sheets of seaweed you can get at HMart)! The worst offenders are sauces – most spaghetti sauces are in the 600-700 mg of sodium!!! But never fear, Trader Joe’s has a good one with only 35 mg of sodium! Hooray!!!

    Keep up the good work! You can do it!

    1. I get that 🙂 I don’t listen to music except for on the radio in my car, but most everyone listens to music at the gym I go to. It helps you get a rhythm 🙂 Low sodium definitely is key. I try to eat organic and natural foods and mostly fresh, but not all the time. I do love HMart!

  7. swim swim swim!! anywhere! its the best way to stay toned 😀 😀 😀
    Even i am helping out my sister to get her into shape. 😀
    Good luck for your tattoo,please do post a picture of it when you get it done 🙂 !

  8. Cats crack me up, I have too. Some of the things are just mind blowing they do. I love to watch mine. Keep up the good work exercising, I am always amped until the pain and fatigue comes. Keep pressing!

      1. LOL They are so wonderful to watch. Megan you keep on pressing and pushing…My hat off to you living with OCD. It’s challenging and sometimes disruptive, people just dont understand what you go through. But you have another positive person, me, rooting you on!!! #teammegan.

      2. Thank you so much dear 🙂 I’m glad you introduced yourself. I’m always happy to make a new friend. I appreciate your kindness and support more than you know 🙂

      3. You are so welcome Megan. I love making new friends. Just know you have one more person supporting you, sending you positive energy, and cares…:)

  9. i love how cats must inspect all things new, literally all things! my parents just got a pug puppy and while his motto seems to be “if its a new thing its a chew thing”, its pretty much anything new to him, not necessarily something new brought into the home. cats never seem to miss a beat when even the smallest new thing enters their home;) kudos to a new health commitment, best wishes!

    1. I love that they do that too 🙂 Chester is constantly investigating things. He’s always up in my face when I’m eating something or in a grocery bag that I bring home. They are so funny 🙂

  10. I wish you luck in sticking with exercise. I need to get started myself. I have a great exercise bike and some weights at home. Now i just need the energy to use them. I am proud of you for being so determined. Stick with it and before you know it you will have your tattoo. 🙂

    1. Thank you 🙂 I have not been sleeping well for the past two days, so suffice it to say, I haven’t exercised in that time. I have absolutely no energy, even now. I hate when that happens. I’m hoping to get back on it tomorrow. I was thinking about getting a stationary bike. I do love them 🙂 I hope you can find some energy to use yours.

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