I am having severe, yet stupid, anxiety today. I do this thing, and my mom can relate to this, where I get something on my mind and have to have it at that moment! I hate when I do this. It gives me so much anxiety. They are quick obsessions and they often wind up costing me money. My mom has recently revealed that she has always done the same thing. It overtakes my mind and I troll the internet for literally hours trying to find the thing that I want. As I am typing this, I am thinking about it and my heart is racing and my breathing is getting difficult.
What is it today? Well, don’t laugh. I actually mentioned this thing in a recent post. I really, really want a Lolita dress. It’s been all I can think about for the past few days. I have even joined a group on Facebook for Indiana Lolitas. I doubt I would ever even have the courage to go to one of their meetings. I never post pictures that don’t belong to me exclusively, but I didn’t have an image to share! I hope the visual helps 🙂
These obsessions, as I call them, change often. Sometimes I get bored with them completely and sometimes I do keep on with them, but that’s rare. The last time I had this anxiety was not all that long ago. It’s funny because I can’t even remember what it was about. That’s what it’s like with these things.
I am thinking that I either can just purchase one and see how I like them in person and on myself, or just try to make one. I work with a woman who loves to sew, so maybe I’ll bring it up to her. If nothing else, maybe this will be some motivation for me to learn how to sew better! I can sew a straight line, but I rarely have the patience to sew something spectacular. I rush through everything because the anxiety of the finished product is just too much for me. I fail to enjoy the process of it. In the end, I wind up with something ugly and crappy. I have got to work on this!
I am sitting here now, in my living room, on my couch, trying to calm myself down and talk myself out of this rush. I know that if I still like Lolita fashion tomorrow, the next day, or even a week from now, then I actually do like it and its not just another of my passing obsessions.
Does anyone else experience this? I’d love to hear your input!
Also, if you happen to have an old Lolita dress lying around that you don’t want, send it my way 😉