No, I Am Not Monk. I Am Megan.


Today, I came home to this beautiful sight.  Yes, it’s just a picture of my living room, but it’s so orderly!  K cleaned the house today when I was at work. There’s nothing more comforting to me than coming home to a clean house after a long day at work.

As someone with OCD, I strive for cleanliness.  I am constantly concerned about how clean my hands are or how sanitized the house is.  When it’s clean and organized, I feel that it’s comfortable to live in and my anxiety levels are decreased.

However, my house is NOT always spotless and in order.  I think a stigma exists surrounding OCD and it is that people with OCD MUST have everything clean and organized.  While Monk is an entertaining show, it is dramatized.  Not everyone with OCD is obsessed with cleaning and health. I can’t emphasize this enough.

For me, there are only certain environments in which I feel most comfortable, one of these is my own home.  My work space is another story and public places in general freak me out. I think it is a feeling of a lack of control and that I can’t control the things and people in my environment if I’m anywhere except for my home or even my car.

Therefore, my house is not always clean or organized.  Today was a great example.  Apparently it had gotten bad enough that K actually took the initiative and totally cleaned every room.  I hate house cleaning, but it’s a necessary evil.  I do it when I notice that it’s really bad. I just don’t worry nearly as much in my home, so I don’t clean like it’s going out of style in it.

I hope this makes sense.  It’s just something that came to mind today when I came home.  I’ve seen a lot of things online or on TV that make it seem like everyone with OCD is a certain way when that is certainly not the case.

If you want to know more about OCD and some possible characteristics of someone with OCD, visit one of my favorite websites,  I linked it specifically to the page about OCD.

Thank you for reading!


PS There’s something that I wanted to clarify about the Giveaway.  It ends on Thursday, 10/24/13 and yes, you do have to join Facebook to enter. I’m so sorry about this, but WP doesn’t allow me to post it here. I will host another Giveaway in the future that doesn’t require me to use FB, I just have to research it.

Also, the actual identify of the winner will not be named on my blog, but I will link back to your blog and/or use your WP username.  When the winner is picked, I will email him/her and he/she will email me a shipping address, so that I can send the prize!  I will keep this information totally confidential 🙂

Thanks for doing this! Again, here’s the Facebook Link.



79 thoughts on “No, I Am Not Monk. I Am Megan.

  1. I totally love your living room! I am jealous. I share a house with four men, one of whom thinks the 70s are still alive and kicking and has provided brown leather furniture and orange walls. And none of them believe in cleaning, or soft furnishings.

    I am so looking forward to moving on to my own place!

    1. hey, sometimes 70s furniture can be cool 🙂 But thank you! I do take a lot of pride in how my house looks. All of it was relatively inexpensive too, it just took a lot of bargain hunting! Good luck with your roommates 🙂

  2. I had a friend who used a ruler to line up the tea cups in the cupboard ears all pointing in one direction. If you know it is okay. do it her way or let her do it or else. other than that she was a blast to be with. It was only one of her quirks, even she could laugh over. thank you for sharing..

    1. 🙂 I honestly can say that I’ve never used a ruler to align anything. I would rather just make it look perfect to my eyes. My living room is a great example. I have to have everything in a certain spot. It irritates me when my chair is not at a certain angle 🙂

  3. oh my I love your cozy homely space! with modern flair 🙂 the birds on the wall make my heart sing, I love it all, and it’s so clean and tidy yay! lol 😀

    1. 🙂 I do love my living room and I’m very picky about what kind of furniture I have. All of it was a great deal though. The green chair is my best find, it was only $20 🙂 I had to fill that darn space with something, so yeah the birds are a filler 😉 Just put a bird on it!

      1. Lol I’ve seen the song! And the Philadeplphia show “just put a birrd on it!”

        I love that green chair the most!

  4. I have yet to figure who K is, but if K is in Montréal, I hope K will drop by my apartment and clean it like that.

    I hope I had your living room, I can see space for at least three aquariums 🙂

    1. 😀 haha, if ever he is there, I’ll have him stop by and clean 😉 He is a good cleaner, mostly when he’s stressed.
      Funny, we were talking about getting a fish! Do your cats bother them at all?

      1. It was my concern, initially. My original setup was thought so that cats wouldn’t be able to get in or anything. It’s a large aquarium so there was no danger of it falling or toppling. They were somewhat curious as to what was that new piece of furniture in their environment, and they found within the first few days that there were water in there. That’s about it. They don’t care about it or the fish. I tried to have them see the fish moving inside, I thought they would like it. It could as well be an opaque box and it wouldn’t change a thing. They don’t care about it at all.

        Of course, like anything, you have to think your setup for safety. Cats can and will get on top of it occasionally if there is a top. Mine know they aren’t allowed on, so they went occasionally but never slept there or remained there when I’m there. If it’s topless, they will probably find about the water quite soon, and should remember and not try to get on anymore.

        Frankly, my top have been half open since I’ve moved out (because I’ve used a fan to cool it down) and nothing happened. They know there’s water (it’s salted, so they won’t drink it, I don’t know if they ever tried).

        If you are going for something very small (like under 10 gallons) be extra cautious that the cat cannot topple it. Beside that, I wouldn’t worry.

        I’m currently leak testing a new aquarium that I will setup this weekend. I’m taking pictures along the way as I plan on writing a blog post or two. Maybe you will learn a thing or two. If you are new, please know that you must not put anything alive in it for the first month or so. For the rest, you can wait for my post(s) or ask me. I’ll point you into good readings or I could explain myself.

      2. Thank you for all the info! I was mostly worried about him reaching his paw inside and scooping out a fish, but the fact that he might knock over the tank worries me too. He would no doubt at least try that. Do you have any pictures of your aquarium? I’d love to see it because the way you describe it it must be really cool.

      3. The current one (saltwater) is not in a showable state. You can see what it used to be on my YouTube account (link on my gravatar profile). If things goes well, the new one which I’m setting up will be posted this Wednesday (but it’s just a big empty tank really).

      4. Aquariums are not easy to take care of, so I commend you for having so much knowledge on them 🙂 I had one once, epic fail. I will check out your Youtube video and then look for the post on Wednesday 🙂

  5. Good post. I have to have the house neat and clean as much as I possibly can and I can’t go to bed unless everything is in it’s place, I simply can’t. I have tried for decades to get over this but I can’t and have come to terms that’s just the way I am. At work however I could care less about my desk. Or “cleaning” crew is bad and doesn’t hardly clean. I let dust bunnies get bad before i actually even dust a little there. My desk is organized but it’s not windexed weekly.

    1. I’m actually the same way. I can’t have anything sitting on the floor or the blankets strewn everywhere and there’s no way I can sleep if the bed is already unmade. I’ve tried this and have had to get up and make it before I can sleep.

  6. I have had to inform others of how Monk is not real to life of OCD symptoms. He has quite a few of the behaviors and avoidance issues, whereas most people only have a couple of the issues. I am not so germy, well to a point, but I am a cleanliness freak. It has been so hard living her with mum, as she leave crumbs on the counter, doesn’t clean under the appliances very often, and she doesn’t see spilled stuff on the floor as often as I do. I know they are her spills as I only get water and milk from the ‘fridge, whereas she makes tea, and some other red stuff (not sure what it is). I have stopped saying anything and just either look over it if I don’t feel good, or throw a rag on the floor and clean it. Using a mop really hurts my back, so I try to clean small parts with a rag, just to keep it up. When I had my own apartment, everything was in its place. I could tell when I first walked in the door if the cats had been on a shelf they weren’t supposed to be on. I think a lot of this also comes from abuse and being hyperaware of your surroundings. For me, other things, like having my DVD collection in a particular order, books in a particular system, and having at least two extra of all my toiletries (have no idea why this is so important, but it is crazy making when I don’t) are my biggest issues.
    I am really glad you have someone who understands and supports you in this. My mum just tells me to clean it if it bothers me, or she gets really upset. It is so not worth even saying anything.

    1. It’s incredibly important that you have someone who understands you in this way. My mom and boyfriend are the two people in my life who act as my greatest supports. Monk is not like real life and I especially like how you explain it, that he has so many of issues when in reality most people just have a few. That’s probably why I was confused initially when receiving a diagnosis because I had so many preconceived ideas of what OCD was. It’s good to know that you are spreading the truth as well 🙂

      1. I am glad you have the supportive people with you. I have been having my share of anxiety issues this past week (please reference my post on the anxiety attack, if you are interested), but my OCD has been kicking up. I cleaned the toaster frantically this morning, and then got mad when I realized the damn thing wasn’t made to be cleaned all the way. There is no way to get to where all the crumbs are. They make a lot of cheap appliances like that so people will toss them and just buy a new one. So, I was upset at that, then started grooming my dog, which went okay. Then, tonight, I go to turn the light on in the kitchen, end up getting out the cleaner and cleaning the hood over the stove. Then that took me to the cabinets over the stove which have grease residue on them from my mum frying foods. I hate fried foods in the house. I worked like a slave when I had my first house to clean off all the grease on all the wood cabinets, and I had a big kitchen, and then flat out refused to ever fry anything in there again. The people before me were big food frying people, just their culture. So, after that, I have always been a big clean person on the cabinets.
        AGH!!! You see this whole response is like a anxiety rant.
        I am going back to watch my show.
        See you tomorrow.
        BTW. I looked on your FB page for your contest, I kept forgetting it, and didn’t see it. I am confused, and dazed, but not in that order.

      2. Not a rant at all 🙂 Sometimes it’s good to just let go and we can do this in our writing. I had a similar experience with a previous apartment I lived in. We moved in to find grease on the upper walls and ceiling. really gross. K and I got out the steam cleaner and got rid of it. I was obsessed with cleaning that apartment because it just grossed me out. I totally understand what you mean 🙂

  7. I think its great to clarify that not everyone with OCD is obsessed with things being neat. I hate when people use that word so casually just to say that they like things tidy. On a lighter note I totally have the same Audrey Hepburn sign! Got to love Ikea!

  8. That was really sweet of him!
    I totally get you on the clean room thing. It’s less a matter of being a germ and clutter free space, it’s more a matter of feeling in control of that space. Hence, I do control little things (my dishes match my curtains, and most of my dishes match each other because I have the power to make them match), but cleaning is just a necessary evil, as you said. Ahhhh, but a clean apartment feels so nice!

    1. It was sweet of him 🙂 It is certainly all about control, as you said. It’s one of the few places in my life that I can keep clean and control. I do love a clean apartment 🙂

  9. Your post reminded me how “Oh, I’m so OCD about that” has entered our vernacular. Not many people realize that having OCD is not about keeping everything neat and orderly. You’re doing a great thing by talking about these stigmas and misunderstandings!

  10. It’s nice that TV is raising the profile of OCD but it’s great that you point out the difference between real OCD and TV featured OCD. And your K did a wonderful job of cleaning and tidying your house.

  11. I think when you talked about a lack of control, that’s the main characteristic most with OCD struggle with. I have OCD too and yes, I’m one of the many that am obsessed with things being clean and in their place. Just like you though, even though I am driven to clean daily, for some reason, I tend to not focus on my bedroom so much. It can get messy and it bothers me but I don’t have that drive that consumes me like the rest of the house does. I also have issues with going places and because of things with my OCD and panic attacks, I barely leave my home now. I can venture out but it’s never easy. Something I didn’t know until being diagnosed with OCD that I think many don’t know about too is how some, maybe not all diagnosed, but there are people like myself that can’t watch certain things because the imagery gets stuck in my head. I become so preoccupied with thoughts and sometimes if I see something disturbing, it’s like that image is on a loop and I have trouble stopping things, getting the thought or image out of my mind can be almost impossible it feels. Besides that, I also am preoccupied with things that I see, say a knife on the counter, I will see the knife and my mind becomes preoccupied with all the scenarios one could imagine with a knife, I will think about if the knife fell and cut someone or if I picked up what would happen, it goes on and on. I’m also one that loses track of time very easily to the point that it can take me hours, many hours, just to get cleaned up and do my hair, makeup, etc. Those are some of the issues I have and it almost was a relief to be diagnosed and to learn that these struggles are part of my disorder and there are others like me too. It’s important to understand that with this disorder there are many common things we all deal with but there are also differences too, sometimes big; sometimes small. I appreciate you sharing your experiences even if we are a bit different in some things. It still helps to know you’re not alone and you’ve done that for me.

    1. Hey dear,
      Sorry for the delay in replying. I wanted to give your comment some thought before I replied. Having OCD is definitely all about that feeling of control. I feel that if I can control my environment then I will be safer and prevent the things I’m afraid of. It’s also a lot about anticipation and wondering “what if” all the time. I hate that feeling, but the meds definitely take the edge off of that aspect. Like you, I can’t watch certain things (i.e. the “v” word). I remember every single time that I’ve seen it and it’s like a disgusting memory log. I’m glad to know I’m not alone in this way.

      I hope all is well with you. How has the room been coming along?

      1. You get it right! It’s nice to know we aren’t alone, definitely so nice to have those people that “get it”. I know the more I have learned about the things I have, it’s made me feel better knowing, okay- this is something that corresponds with this and it’s not “crazy”. Anyways, the room has not gone super well just because of my bf’s mom being “involved” and the weather hasn’t cooperated too! But tomorrow is a new day and I hope to move things along! I’ve sorta been failing at all my goals lately. It sucks but I hope I can turn things around!

  12. It’s interesting to read your thoughts about cleanliness and order in your own home and elsewhere. When my son first told me he had OCD, one of the first things I said to him was “But how could you? You’re room is such a mess all the time!” He never had any issues with cleanliness or germs, though at the time, because of the media, that’s what I thought OCD was. I’ve come a long way in understanding OCD and how it’s different for everyone who suffers from it.

  13. I envy your living room. My house is a perpetual mess, and I never have enough time to get it as clean as I’d like it (not super clean, just… organized.

  14. Beautiful, beautiful living room! I am a neat freak and I don’t have OCD, or perhaps that maybe considered as OCD…lol!

    I had a roommate once, he had OCD (I could not move things around in the kitchen to clean it or he would freak out, everywhere else in the house he could tolerate, but it was world war III if I touched that coffee maker; also he used to get stuck locking the door and checking and checking and re-checking to make sure it was locked). He was a little quirky, but he was my second best male friend ever…he loved poetry as I do. We used to get up early and go out for breakfast or to Starbucks and he insisted on taking his favorite Poet: Emily Dickinson so that I could read poetry to him right there in Starbucks 6 o’clock in the morning!

    I tend to get along better with the “quirky” cause I maybe is one (lol) and cause they march to the beat of a different drum! Boy do I miss my poet loving friend!

    Good Post! 🙂

    1. THank you so much for saying that dear 🙂 I do love my little living room because it’s quite cozy. Even more, I appreciate that you shared this story of your roommate. I have certain quirks that annoy others, especially my boyfriend I’m sure. Sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your friend. It’s good to have people like that in our lives 🙂

  15. I found your post fun and useful. We forget that TV isn’t real sometimes. We should not do that, but sometimes it just seems to happen to us. Let’s face, even on Monk, his rival with OCD does things different than Monk, because he sees things differently. People, all of us are different. We all have contradictions to ourselves.

  16. With havin so much content do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright violation? My site has
    a lot of exclusive content I’ve either authored myself
    or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the
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    1. I have no real way of protecting my content, but I put a content page that prohibits the use of my content without authorization from me, but there’s no telling who might actually be taking it.

  17. You’re living room is quite lovely. I wish mine looked like that. I applaud you for sharing with the world about your diagnosis and removing the stigmas surrounding it. Bravo! Thank you for stopping by my site.

  18. Thank you so much for liking my Obsessive thoughts Tuesday post. Sometimes I don’t know if something is funny or not. and Thank you for this post as well. I am not like what I have read in books, but my Doctor told me today AGAIN, I was definitely OCD. but since I found treatment for it, I have been getting better. and not so better then back to better. Someday I will write it all down and we can compare notes.

    1. Sometimes, I don’t know if something is funny either and even worse, sometimes people think I’m trying to be funny when I’m not. I usually just go with it. You aren’t OCD, you HAVE OCD. Don’t let it define you.

      1. haha I can’t believe I said that, or that you caught it. saying I am versus I have is a pet peeve of mine. Thank you for pointing it out

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