Goodbye Honeymoon Phase

DSC_0681I made this coffee cake/bread thing tonight πŸ™‚ I love the smell of cinnamon and baked goods in general when it’s getting colder outside. It makes things inside cozier and takes my mind off of the things I dislike during the fall/winter months (e.g. cold, illness, dry skin). Β I know K likes it when I bake, so I decided early on today that I would do this when i got home (if not for him than for me hehehe).

It has almost been six years that we’ve been together and it has been a fun, but trying time that’s for sure. We have had so many good times together and some pretty rough times, but I wouldn’t change what we have for anything. Β He is at the same time caring, hilarious, clumsy, and professional πŸ™‚ Β I love everything about him.

Now, that being said ,there are things that I have come to identify as being part of a long-term relationship. Β When you get this far and on, things are definitely not like they used to be. Β The honeymoon stage is something K and I see other, new couples at and together laugh hysterically. Β To think, we used to be so darling and loving to one another, PDA and all that jazz. Β hahaha!

So, today at work during my limited spare time scattered throughout the day, I came up with a list of things that I think are telling of a long-term relationship that you just won’t find when you first start dating. Β Here is that list:

  1. You know literally everything there is to know about the other person, to the point you don’t have to say anything to communicate, also to the point that you don’t say anything for hours because there really isn’t anything left to say πŸ™‚
  2. There are things that you would say to your partner that you would NEVER say to anyone else and frankly any one else would just not get it.
  3. You say things or make gestures that make no sense to anyone outside of the relationship, but you two know…oh ho ho…you know πŸ™‚
  4. There are things you do in front of your partner that would appall most anyone else, but he/she could care less.
  5. Your partner shares daily updates on bowel movements then proceeds to ask about yours. Β It’s almost like you’re talking about the weather.
  6. The two of you are comfortable talking about what your future house will be like when you get married. Β That weird tension of if you will ever tie the knot is long gone and now it’s just a question of when.
  7. You can play video games together and consider it quality time. Β Once, K and I spent an entire week playing WoW on two computers together. I’m serious, 7 days straight. All we did was eat pizza. It’s a fond memory πŸ™‚
  8. You pick up the phone for no reason and find that your partner is either calling your or texting you at that very moment. This happens all the time with us. Creepy….
  9. Not only is your partner your lover, but he/she is your best friend.
  10. You try to imagine life apart and it’s not just even possible.

Well, sorry to get all mushy and what not. Β I actually was tearing up as I read this. Β K loves me for who I am and embraces my quirkiness, most of the time, and just accepts me for a person who is also working out how to manage life as well as having OCD. Β The other day we were both totally overwhelmed with everything and he said nothing and hugged me. He is my love and my rock. Β Sometimes it’s good to just take the time to think about things like this. Β It makes me grateful for what I have, that’s for sure.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject πŸ™‚ Share your wisdom!

As always, thank you for reading πŸ™‚

Megan

 

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54 thoughts on “Goodbye Honeymoon Phase

  1. This list is perfect – I gigged a bit at number 5 because it’s too true. You’ve got to love love xD
    And number 8 happens all the time for me & my bf too! Although we’ve only been together 2 years, we’ve hardly spent a few weeks apart. & you really get to know someone over so many years!

    1. haha, #5 is my favorite actually πŸ™‚ He’s too funny. K and I have been together almost every day since, except for whenever he goes back to Korea, which is usually a month or so at a time. Distance and time definitely make the heart grow fonder πŸ™‚

  2. I don’t know but it is a fine line between love and hate, though if you are aware of the changes then you are halfway there. I will keep both you and K in my prayers and thoughts and wish you an eternal peace that will carry you through the worst of times at which the great times will be all the better..

    There is a great Youtube about this Asian couple called, ‘Strangers Again.’ If we are mindful of the changes and recognize them as better and good in different ways we are all good. Not like trading in for a newer model. That would be the mistaken notion that the other person could not keep up, when in truth it takes two to tango and two to tangle. Untangling the mess we let transpire is on us and probably why people near the same age can relate to the different phases in our life.
    The Eagles song ‘Lying Eyes’ makes mention of her coming home to man with hands as cold as ice illustrated the conundrum that is moving from Spring to Summer, and Autumn to Winter. Got a good song for that one too.. Bobby Goldsboro’s (The Autumn of our lives) or something to that effect.
    We can never let the insidious creep of complacency to steal from what we had and what we can have.. Never settle spiritually and our relative beauty is second to that….

  3. Mike and I have been married for 16 years. We go out to eat and take an iPad with us so we can play Carcassone on it. We discuss very little in the restaurant but at home we’re chatterboxes. (And you’re totally right about the poo discussions – probably because we have spent the last four years dealing with my IBS that we’ve gotten so used to discussing poo a lot.)

    I think our closeness, that we were actually really good friends before we started dating and then dated for three years before getting married, is why its so hard for us to be apart. We enjoy each other’s company and not everybody gets our cooky sense of humor.

    It’s also why it’s hard having both Mike and my best friend not here at the same time.

    1. That’s very cute πŸ™‚ Congrats on being married for 16 years! I hope K and I will be as fortunate. I feel the same with K. We are great friends and always have been. It’s a strong bond that I can see you and your husband also have πŸ™‚

  4. Nah, we don’t do the bowel movement convos but we are so comfortable with each other after 17 years it’s incredible. We can go for hours without speaking to each other but are still comfortable. It’s great πŸ™‚

  5. Love it!
    I am also OCD and married my gorgeous Gill in February this year. She sometimes struggles with my order or things and need to clean up after her! But we are great living together and find empathy with your list … including number 5!
    Nic x

  6. After 27 years with the same person, every once in a while we surprise each other. We learned to grow together. I think the best recipe for a relationship is to never forget the list you made above. As you have found, there are ups and downs. If we stop respecting each other, then we have a problem. It’s nice to see a lovely post like yours!

    1. We sometimes surprise each other πŸ™‚ He’s pretty gullible so it’s easy for me to do πŸ˜‰ I could tell a blatant lie and he would go for it, not that I would…haha. Like you said though, it is definitely all about respecting one another and compromise.

  7. What a terrific down to earth post, very full of fact. My hubby and I laugh at other people too, because we know they will some day be comfortable like us and won’t feel the need to be so mushy.

  8. I’m on my own because of bad realtionships and are happy like this for now, I need this time alone, but great post and list, I need to save this for the day I’m ready to date again πŸ™‚

  9. I think you pretty much summed it up! It’s a beautiful post and I’m genuinely happy for your happiness. And that cake thing looks like it smells amazing and would taste delicious mmmmm

      1. Lmao! Delicious food is ugly so perhaps dry food looks mouthwatering? I only cook ugly food…and it only turns out half the time lol.

  10. I still don’t know who K is, but I know something about him: He’s a lucky person!

    Six years, really? I’ve barely made a year with anyone. Is there any hope I can find someone before some of my body parts start following law of gravity?

    Bowel movements… really? πŸ˜›

    1. πŸ˜‰ He is lucky, but I’d like to think I’m luckier! I guess we’ve just never given up on one another, but it’s not that we haven’t gotten close.

      Also, I watched your Youtube videos of your aquarium πŸ™‚ Look so cozy and the sound of water must be relaxing. Also, your accent is so charming πŸ™‚

      1. Relaxing, yes, somewhat. It kind of get on my nerves over time though, always hearing it. Most of the time, I just don’t notice anymore. When I clean it, I fill it very high, so there is no sound. Until some water evaporates. Summer is over, so less evaporation.

        Accent? Oh, you watched that video too? Poor me, now you will never want to talk to me lol

  11. AAAhhh … the freedom of a long time love. There are so many things you know about each other that you couldn’t leave. hahaha You haven’t said how long this lone relationship has been or perhaps i”ve missed it. But … long is 48 years. ~~~~~ : – O

  12. Another great post Megan and you are so down to earth I think it makes other people so comfortable. My hubby and I have been married almost 7 years now and we are definitely in this stage, he is my lover but also my very best friend, it brings tears to my eyes if I even think something might happen to him. You sound happy sweetheart and I am so happy for you!!!

    1. I am very happy with him and very grateful for that. I’m only down to earth because I’m like everyone else, but I’m just writing about it πŸ™‚ Also, I’m from Southern IN and we’re just friendly here πŸ˜‰

  13. I have to giggle at this post. I have been married for 23 years to a man I barely knew 6 months before we got married. Most of this is true, but #5 is hilarious. I walk into the bathroom (we only have 1) all the time to get something or use the sink to brush my teeth, etc while my husband is having a bowel movement. it doesn’t bother me at all, but he is still disgusted at the thought of any of it !

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