Food Regret

DSC_0705I’m sure everyone goes through this.  I know I do at least weekly, sometimes daily. I eat something and then instantly regret that I stuffed those needless calories into my mouth.  I did this tonight.  I had 3 slices of pizza and a piece of my coffee cake that I made the other day.  I feel so bad about myself at this moment and I know the feeling won’t go away until I work out.

I do this all the time to myself. I worry and worry about gaining weight and what I eat that when I do eat something that is not so great for me, I feel terrible about myself for a long time afterward.

When I was younger, I think this used to be a lot worse.  I’m happier with my body now and I know that I actually have gained weight since taking sertraline, but the constant obsession with what I eat still bothers me.  In high school in particular, I was constantly worried about my weight.  I remember not eating anything but maybe yogurt for lunch in high school.  I was so, so skinny.  At one point, I remember weighing myself and I was under 100lbs and I must’ve been around 15 or 16 years old, not that I ever want to be that thin again. It was unhealthy.  I didn’t realize I looked so thin until a girl in one of my classes asked my best friend if I was anorexic.

Obviously for me some of it was peer pressure.  My best friend was thin and tall and actually a b*tch, but now she’s my ex-friend so let’s leave it at that. Anyway, I was under a lot of pressure to be thin.

Now, I am under little to no peer pressure, but the thoughts still linger.  Maybe it’s just part of being a woman, or maybe it’s just me.  I have no realistic idea of what my body looks like to others or even myself.  I don’t know.  Anyway, as of late, I have taken to drinking green tea because I heard it helps to maintain a healthy weight.  I drink a cup everyday in the afternoon and at least psychologically I feel better about myself, weight-wise.

Anyway, enough about me!

Here’s what Chester has taught himself to do recently.DSC_0704

He has somehow figured out how to squeeze his body beneath these shelves and then do a really fast sideways crawl underneath them.  He wants you to try to get his paws when he does this.  Here’s one of him a little further away:DSC_0702

He is so hilarious.

Finally, I just wanted to remind everyone that the Giveaway will close at 12:00 am tonight.  If you haven’t entered yet, do so asap 🙂  Here’s the link to enter: Giveaway Link.

Thank you for reading and have a lovely evening.



84 thoughts on “Food Regret

  1. I’m can be so tired of those thought after meal or sweets, I was much worse some year ago but now I can have time where I only eat fruits and still feel bad and other days eat more and it’s okey. Thank you for sharing of yourself and your life, it helps reading and relate and I hope I can be as good help with my blog as you are to me with your blog 🙂 Love following you 🙂

    Ohh I just love that cat, cuteness ❤ 🙂

    1. I have times like that too. I have to try to balance how many good foods I eat and mix in a few guilty pleasures, or else I get burned out by eating plain foods.

      Chester is such a cutie 🙂 He says thank you for admiring him!

  2. They also have tea supplements although I dunno if they work. I suspect it may be the l-theanine not the polyphenols or whatever are in the tea suplements. l-theanine is available in 100 and 200 mg sizes and also in bulk powder (cheaper) on inet. It’s important to know that it has other bioactive and psychoactive effects as well though….

  3. Food relationships are hard. The balance between responsible choices, forgiving yourself when necessary and crossover mental health issues. Thanks for sharing! *belly rubs for Chester*

  4. Hi Megan!
    Green tea does well for you! That’s great to hear. Do you happen to have any cinnamon around? This will help you when you worry about eating cakes with lots of icing that has sugar on it. Don’t worry about sugar as long as you get out & about for a about 15-20 minutes. That will help take the edge off & at least get used in your system. You have a very slim figure still. I only want to tell you this since I have been pushing a little. This way you can use the cinnamon to help as it balances your sugar level as you take in sugar at times. I never used it until I found out about it & was consuming sugar & then would go out afterwards & walk for a few minutes. After that, I would use cinnamon to help bring my blood sugar level up as I noticed it brought me down some. That helped me a lot too. Great for you to mention that. I will help in any way I can if you need it.

  5. From your pictures, I don’t believe you have anything to worry about with your weight. You might feel full or bloated? If so, that won’t last forever. You look beautiful just the way you are. It’s ok to indulge once in awhile, or whenever you feel like it, for that matter, especially when you DO NOT have a weight issue. Chow down, girl!
    Tammy 🙂

  6. Chester is a hoot. He looks exactly like my two kitties. He must be related. hahaha
    Aren’t they a wonder to watch. They say that cats know how to enjoy and live life. I think it’s true. They are so relaxing. He has over-shadowed your post. LOL

  7. I struggle with binge eating and body image. I think society plays a huge role too in things, not just with real life people in your daily life. But I feel you when you do something like that to feel regret after and the guilt for me is so bad. I think you look great though and on occasion, overindulgence is okay I think. I think it’s okay on occasion to do that because if not, life wouldn’t be as fun! Don’t be too hard on yourself, remember to chew your food well, eat slowly, and drink water or your tea even in between bites. It helps!

    1. It is ok on occasion and I usually let Thanksgiving be that occasion 😉 i’m sorry you struggle with binge eating. Sometimes I do this and feel so extremely guilty afterward tha I don’t eat well for days.

      1. Thanks for your support, I really appreciate getting to know you via WP, you have been so kind to me and others! I’ve been doing pretty well aside from the candy binge I had recently and shared. The urge to binge or eat much at all, it’s been really good. I didn’t stick to the “true” fast I wanted to do when initially starting my blog, but I’ve been fasting for a day or even a few at a time, eating when I just feel I’ve got to…..I think it’s going pretty well since my weight is reflecting the progress made. I will get there!

  8. Chester is such a good. Adorable but a goof. His new game reminds me of younger kids and the games they can come up with. I’m glad he’s so entertaining. : D

    As for the food and regretting, I used to be kind of like that but then my mother likes telling me I’m fat, even when I was just a kid. I’m surprised I didn’t end up with an eating disorder. I’m also surprised I gained weight eating her cooking since her only rule seemed to if it was black, it was done. At this point, I eat mostly withat I want (food sensitivities and intolerances also come into play). While I’m overweight, I am also pretty healthy.

    1. He is such a goober 😉 I call him that all the time. He is so hilarious and K and I get a good laugh from him almost every time we look at him. We are constantly saying to each other, “Look at him!” He’s just always doing something entertaining.

      It must be difficult to have a mother who didn’t encourage you and appreciate your body for what it is. My mom has always been supportive and I can’t imagine if she wasn’t. I have a lot of food sensitivities as well. I gave up most dairy because I’m pretty sure that it was just something I’m allergic too. It’s been the best thing I’ve done.

      1. I’m glad you get so much entertainment from Chester.

        As for my mother, her calling me fat, buying me clothes several sizes too big, etc. I think she learned it from her mother. None of my sisters ever had the same problems not were they called names. I also believe the fact that I wasn’t the boy she wanted as her first child didn’t help. My parents and my youngest sister visited me over a year ago and it got brought up in a conversation that my mother called me fat all the time. My sister backed me up but my mother denied it ever happening. I know my youngest sister struggles with body issues though she could pass as a supermodel.

        Going to college and learning to be on my own helped a lot. It also helped that even though I’m overweight I have had multiple guys, including my ex-boyfriend, tell me they like a certain part of my anatomy. Which I find fascinating since society constantly tells us guys only like skinny girls not women with curves.

        Something to note: in the past, men wanted curvy women heavyweight meant they were rich (and therefore could afford food and lots of it)while skinny/thing meant you were poor and undesirable since it meant you had no money. Now we are more aware that there is more to weight gain than just overeating but weight=food=money was a social cue for centuries.

        As for food sensitivities, I’m lactose intolerant (meaning my body can’t digest lactose a sugar found in milk) but I can tolerate a few things. Other things my body just can’t handle or I can’t tolerate the taste or texture. And then there are the foods I just plain don’t like.

        Okay, I may have gone on too long. Oh and more pics of Chester, please. 😀

      2. I did know that about curvy women were highly sought after in the past. Society (and silly moms) tells us differently and men all have different tastes, so we can’t believe everything we say.

        I will definitely post more pics of Chester 😉 He’s my best model!

  9. Cute Chester. As long as I eat in a healthy way, 90% of the time, my weight seems to fluctuate according to what it needs to be for whatever stage I am at in life. At the moment I am in a ‘heavy’ phase 🙂

    1. You’re so right. Our bodies do fluctuate and quite often for me it seems. It has to do a lot with the time of month or year even and obviously my lifestyle. I’m actually thinner than I was about a month ago, but with the holidays coming up that’s likely to change.

  10. Does the green tea help? I am trying to lose weight. Seems like when I tried drinking green tea before, it kind of made me feel strange. Chester is so cute 😉

    1. It does help. The polyphenols in the green tea are thought to burn fat. I definitely notice a difference in the amount of flab I’m carrying around now and it’s a lot less. 🙂

  11. Megan, I really enjoy your topics and writing style. Thank you so much for reading my blog post. Keep fighting the OCD battle. I know it’s hard at times. Best of luck and I look forward to exploring your post

  12. Ah Megan… we eat because we have to. Can’t live otherwise. But there is joy to be had in food. For those lucky enough to have mastered the art of cooking – it is indeed an art – it is an outlet for creativity and it is often filled with love, even if only the love of creating something for others to enjoy. So… next time you have that slice of pizza: do just that 🙂
    And I loved your addition of domesticity to the post – amuzin’ 😉

  13. I had a case of that though with me it was called comfort food. And the more I worried the more I ate. But that is me. Keep your chin up. No need to feel down over a nice home baked slice of cake. Once in a while. It is not something you do every day or week.
    Keep smiling just like Chester. Enjoy life.

    1. Thank you friend 🙂 It’s true, I don’t eat like that every day (at least when there is no cake)! When I’m especially anxious, I don’t eat. I think that’s why when I started taking sertraline I gained weight. Anyway, I should be thankful for good genes 🙂

  14. Unfortunately, women in our society are under a lot of social pressure to be conscious of their weight. It gets ingrained in us from an early age; I look at pictures of myself from high school now and realize just how good I looked, though at the time I always felt fat and ugly. I’m a larger body type; always have been, always will be. I still don’t wear shorts because I fell like my thighs and knees look funny, though most of it is muscle. It’s a constant struggle, but for the most part I’m learning to appreciate my body as it is and be more concerned with my overall health than the numbers on the scale.
    There shouldn’t be any guilt in doing something you enjoy–and in my opinion, food is too tasty to NOT enjoy it. So long as you’re taking care of yourself overall, go ahead and have that piece of coffee cake. Coffee cake is delicious. 🙂

    1. I couldn’t agree more. Our society is not at all encouraging when it comes to how we look. There are some campaigns out there that are attempting to help with body image, but it’s not enough really.

      And yes, coffee cake is awesome 🙂

  15. I agree with your Mom Megan that society has failed women in this way, there is still a ridiculous amount of pressure to be thin, just look at models and good old television, almost every woman has to look perfect, not so for the men! So we women must unite and begin by accepting ourselves and each other, however much we weigh and look!!

  16. I regret it every time I eat Mexican food. 2 bowls of chips and then a meal. Usually once a week I need a fix. I always say no chips this time but can’t get that accomplished. Guess that’s how my head got stuck on my dad’s body.

  17. Hey Megan! Everyone definitely struggles with body image. I do Pilates videos on YouTube every day with this really fun, sweet, and peppy instructor named Cassie. She’s super fit, but always reminds people that your body chooses the way it wants to be and what YOU can do is be healthy in your mind, your food choices (besides the necessary cheat days!!), and with daily exercise of some sort. So in addition to feeling better about my body (big hips, bulging stomach after everything I eat), I am actually getting fit and toned. If you’re interested, here’s her channel:

  18. This is one anxiety I totally don’t have. I just don’t get guilty about food. I eat when I’m hungry, and I eat a lot of “unhealthy food” too, and I’m even overweight. I guess my brain likes good food too much to care about worrying?

  19. Just so you know, I have the same problem with what I see in the mirror, others tell me, anyway. I see someone way bigger than what I am, so I’m told. I still don’t believe them, but whatever! 🙂

  20. Really, I don’t see why you might be concerned with your weight. Well, if you began to eat fastfood and take an extremely large amount of sugar everyday, that would be different, on the long term. But really, you can afford freedom in your meals, you aren’t remotely close to getting fat.

    Not that saying this will change anything, but stop comparing yourself to what the media show you. Nothing in there is real. Do I want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger? After all, that’s what the media want men to look like.

    What you see in the mirror is not how others see you. We all judge ourselves harder than we judge others. This is normal behavior, as long as you understand it and don’t start feeling bad or anything toward you. You are who you are, and only really stupid people (which are not worth receiving attention from you) will really make a difference based on what you look like.

    If you have 2 minutes:

    1. Very true. We do all judge ourselves harsher than others do. No matter how many pictures I’ve seen of myself or how often I look in the mirror, I have no real concept of what I look like. I find that so weird and fascinating at the same time. But thank you for saying all that. Means more to me than you know.

      1. Megan, I feel the exact same way. I have no clue what I really look like to others. They tell me that what I see in the mirror is so distorted. I don’t know how to change that. I see what I see.

  21. I finally caught up! I’ve read through the posts I missed lol.
    I’m on two types of medication that make people gain weight (I’m on more meds than that though) and one was ok, but add the second one I’m eating for two and I’m STARVING all the time and packed on 5kg in 2 weeks. I started working out today and I ate even more! I have to change what I eat I think and make it more proteiny to stay fuller longer if I’m going to be on these meds and not balloon. The hunger is outrageous.

    I think as women and as anxious people, and sensitive people having a human experience we feel the way we do with food regret. I was watching a Buddhist monk speak on YouTube and he was explaining how fruitless it is to care so much about our outward appearance because we are wasting energy better spent on being good on the inside and that helped me for a week…then I jumped on the scales.
    I had better re-watch the talk 🙂

    1. Yay! I’m so glad you’re back 🙂 I’d wondered what happened to you friend. In the beginning I had no appetite when I started to take the sertraline, but yes, now I am starving if I don’t eat something every 2 hours or so, sad, but true. Also, I found that if my iron is low then it makes me hungrier, so I’ve started taking blackstrap molasses for that and it seems to be helping with the sudden, intense hunger pangs. I wish it were just that easy to care only about the good in people and now how they look, but we all know that’s much easier said than done. People can be cruel.

      Got your suggestion and I think I’m going to try to vlog today 😉 If I hate it, then I’ll try again later, but I’m going to do some test runs today. Perhaps introduce myself. Ugh, I hate hearing my own voice though 😉

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