Goodbye 2013, I Shall Miss Thee

DSC_0046It seems like it’s inevitable, writing a post at the beginning of a new year, recapping the previous year.  Looking back on this year, I am satisfied with the progress I’ve made, in my opinion at least.  I’ve been struggling with who I am for so long and still can’t say that I’m 100% satisfied with the answer, but I’m seeing further into myself.  This blog and sharing my thoughts in writing have helped me to see myself deeper and to express myself in ways that I couldn’t before.  I am now talking more openly in my personal life about the things that trouble me and I have to say, it’s some relief at last.  Living a life of secrets and wearing a facade is tiring.  Trust me, I’ve done it most of my life.  It’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve taken the reigns of my life and decided that enough is enough.  I’m not going to let mental illness decide who I am.

I have had the opportunity to meet so many new people, who are not only caring, but also understand the things I’m going through.  Before starting this blog, I had trouble believing that other people could ever know what goes on in my head, but that’s not at all true.  All my life I’ve struggled finding actual friends, people who I feel close enough to share the darkest thoughts that pop into my head.  There were only about a handful of people in my life, if that, who I could’ve done this with prior to starting this blog.  Now, I feel that my voice is finally heard.

On a softer note, I’ve been working on crocheting amigurumi.  I made a fortune cookie for Chester and stuffed it with catnip, filling, and tissue paper for the crackling sound.  He loved it, for as long as he loves toys 😉  I put them away and later he’ll find them interesting.

DSC_0035He was so cute with it 🙂

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Thank you everyone for all the support and kindness you’ve shown to me this past year.  I appreciate it more than you know.

Megan

 

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43 thoughts on “Goodbye 2013, I Shall Miss Thee

    1. Thank you JW 🙂 I try to share honestly and openly and having a platform to share this with others is just a plus 🙂 Thank you so much for reading what I write. I appreciate it so much.

  1. Sweet and dearest Megan. It was never about your OCD. It was always about you. The war in the brain is just a part of you and not who you are.
    You rock and you came a long way. So keep on smiling and just be you.
    So this year you will be Megan will be kicking OCD’s butt out of the way.

    And he he fun toy. You making some fun things there. Chester is a beaut.

    1. Thank you dear friend 🙂 You’re always too kind to me, but I appreciate it more than you know. I look forward to getting to know you better over the upcoming year 🙂

  2. It is wonderful that you are finally able to let yourself out for the world to see and to know. It is hard living a facade. This is something that I am still working to overcome myself. It’s scary to allow others in. I’m like you were – only a handful of people know the ‘real’ me. I’m hoping for more walls to be taken down in 2014!

  3. It’s always a big step to share something you’ve kept secret, to step out from behind the facade – but also so liberating, to stop pretending! It was very courageous of you to do so… I think it benefits both yourself and those who you are open with, including us as the readers of your blog. I’m glad I get to share parts of your life with you, it’s fun and opens my eyes to new views. Keep it up! In this sense, I wish you (and Chester^^) all the best for 2014 🙂

    1. I’m happy to be able to share myself so openly and honestly and to have a place to do so. I’m glad I started this blog and very happy to have met you Mirjiam. I appreciate your support and kindness. I hope you have a wonderful new year!

  4. I made my sister an amigurumi penguin to go with her Christmas gift. My whole family seemed pretty amazed that I made something like that. I wish I could make toys like that for Ranger (my dog) but he would probably just tear it to pieces when he gets bored. For some reason he has destroyed every single one of his babies in the past month, and I can’t bring myself to put so much work into something that will just get destroyed in a week.

    Where do you find your crochet patterns? I use Ravelry mostly.

    1. The penguin must’ve been so cute! Amigurumi is a mystery until you figure it out, so it impresses a lot of people to see it. Chester usually tears apart his toys too, especially the crocheted ones, but it gives me an excuse to take cute pictures of him 😉 I have used Ravelry, but I also use lionbrand.com and redheart.com for patterns. It’s so convenient to have access to so many free patterns on the web 🙂

  5. As a therapist I am interested in the specifics of how you took ‘the reigns of my life and decided that enough is enough’. It sounds like you reached a threshold. My experience with clients who get getter is that this is common but I have yet to find a reliable way to help hasten the approach of such liberating thresholds. Your experience could really help others. How do you think you did it?

    1. Hi Harvey 🙂 That’s a great question! I will try to sum up some of my thoughts about this past year, so that it makes for a clearer picture. I think, overall, blogging has been a huge help in getting me to open up about myself. It took years before I was even aware enough of myself to realize that I wasn’t living to my fullest. After being diagnosed with OCD by my psychiatrist, i could put a name to a face, so to speak. I knew that I wasn’t just going crazy and that there were reasons behind my irrational behaviors and thoughts. I was tired of living with anger and fear and a huge amount of stress, so I consciously started to work toward changes in myself. I stopped hating myself for the things I couldn’t change and started to be more open about my issues. For me, it was about being the true me and not wearing a mask. I tell people all the time that I have anxiety issues and was diagnosed with OCD. It makes life a lot easier being able to share this aspect of my life. I hope this kind of makes sense!

      megan

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