What Was Today?

DSC_0059I wasn’t going to write anything today, but the urge came over me about twenty minutes ago in the shower.  I didn’t go to work today because the roads are hazardous and the sub zero temperatures are dangerous on top of that.  I thought it would be nice to not go to work on a Monday and normally it would, but being forced to stay in the house turned out to be not as nice as I thought.  I wound up watching Dexter, a good but depressing show all day, while crocheting a granny-square turned afghan.

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It’s gotten a lot larger toward the end of the day.  It’s a fun project, but it’s literally all I did all day. It’s  a little Americana, but those are just the random partially-used skeins of yarn I had lying around.  I feel like this day was wasted.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been experiencing bouts of depression.  It happened at work a couple of times and the past three days I’ve just been really down.  I feel like there’s nothing to smile at and I feel like I can’t hear anyone or anything.  It’s like there’s a cloud around my head keeping me from seeing the world around me.  Today was like this.  I eventually had to sit here and watch Family Guy just to start feeling something positive.

I never thought I’d actually say this, but I’m ready to go back to work tomorrow.  I hope that everything goes smoothly weather-wise and driving-wise.  I don’t wanna go clean off my car, but I have to.

Well, thanks for listening 🙂  I hope if you were affected by this storm that you are keeping safe and warm.

Megan

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75 thoughts on “What Was Today?

  1. Nothing to smile at? There’s always Chester, and your favorite tortoiseshell kat in the whole world,… You know, the one who is beautiful, intelligent, witty, charming, outsmarts the idiot humans all the time and is thinking about running fur President…..(me)!♥

  2. Today wasn’t wasted…your afghan grew…that’s what I love about crochet, when the depression’s bad and I can’t do anything, if I can still mindlessly crochet, I have something at the end of the day that I’ve achieved, plus crochet helps keep my hands busy, while letting my brain have a rest.

  3. Oh my! This photo reminds me of winters we used to have in Oregon back in the 70’s. The ice storms a little terrifying. Thanks for posting 🙂

  4. Megan, sorry to hear that you’ve been down. I hope you can make it to work tomorrow (safely) and that your mood will turn around. Who knows what wonderful things may be awaiting you. 🙂

  5. I’m sorry you were feeling depressed! But you made a beautiful afghan. It’s hard to imagine the cold you are experiencing. In Australia, we have been having a weeklong heat wave with thunderstorms and bush fires thrown in the mix. Seems like there’s weather extremes no matter where you live!

    1. Thank you for reminding me of that 🙂 The afghan is turning out well. I think it’s so interesting that AU is having hot weather now 🙂 That’s so neat! Perhaps I should move there. Hu, I can dream 🙂

  6. I don’t think you wasted a day with that great afghan project. And you are probably depressed because I haven’t been keeping my blog up like I should and you weren’t able to read all of my great worthless advice. I’m sorry about that. I promise to do better!

    Enjoy the snow and the winter wonderland! And keep writing!

  7. The wild cold weather over there has even been on the news here in Australia! We have summer here at teh moment and its bloody hot!
    Do you think your depression could be related to the season/cold? I’ve heard of that happening with some people where they get uber depressed in coldermonths

  8. Your afghan would go nicely with the bathroom I made for the baby yesterday using just things I found in the basement. Just found out we are off again today. AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

  9. I want to write something clever and positive, but I’ve had my own experiences with depression so I know those kinds of comments often don’t help. So here’s some honesty instead: it gets better, even it get worse first it will get better. Also I love the granny square and when even a bad day produces something like this, can it really be wasted? (RESOUNDING NOOOO!) Storms pass but homemade blankets are awesome so they endure! 🙂

  10. It is not a bad thing now is it. if you are ready it means making decisions.
    And wasted? how could it be. You had time to think and maybe clear your mind a little.
    Focus on tasks at hand.
    Keep Smiling. You did not waste a day. You gained experience and knowledge about you.

  11. I’m so glad I live in Florida. The cold weather hit us last night and I woke up to 46 degrees. Burrrr…. All kidding aside, my best friend is in Chicago and his work is slow because of the weather (14 below).

    When I have time with nothing to do I like to either write or watch something educational, especially if it is the type of education that will actually help me. At least then I won’t feel like I wasted a day.

  12. I’m addicted to knitting… my latest ball of wool runs will run out soon and I’m freaking out already! The blanket is lovely btw, very impressive. 🙂
    Ps – whenever I feel really low I watch Father Ted. Sounds boring, but it works every time!

  13. Dear Megan, I’m down with you on the whole ‘wasted day’ feeling. Severe mood swings left me in the position of not being able to concentrate enough to work since last week Thursday, and it’s hard to get things done at those times. The days when it seems as if you can’t get anything done and have to occupy yourself mentally are often the hardest, so I wish you luck! Afghan looks great, by the way. 5thshade.

  14. Sometimes I go through bouts of depression too, and then I want to spend time alone because I feel like the rest of the world doesn’t “get it.” And by doing that, I’m even more alone. And that, I’ve found, can create a vicious cycle… Everyone is different though. Some people need time alone, and then they’re able to get right back up. Some people soak in the sun. Some read a good book. Take a long nap. Sip tea. So take gentle care of yourself. Sending positive thoughts your way! 🙂

  15. Is K back from his family visit? I’ve been feeling at odds with myself—and, at times, everyone else!!!! Some of it, I know, is from not handling Christmas very well diet-wise….and some from getting caught up in some long-standing frustrations I haven’t forgiven myself and/or others for. Boy…have I been cranky! Some weeks—-going to work is the only thing that keeps me sane. 🙂

    1. Not quite yet. He’ll be back on Friday actually 🙂 Looking forward to it, but the change of environment is always difficult. I get very cranky this time of year too 😦

  16. Hi Megan! It’s so refreshing to read a blog by someone like you who is just sharing life’s challenges as well as interests in life. I am new to WordPress. I love to write and I write from my heart but I also have this OCD thing. It makes me feel so disorganized about getting my blog up and moving about the space so that I can enjoy connecting with others without having the expectations. So thank you. Thank you for sharing so honestly about your depression and your ups and downs. I hope I can become as successful a blogger as you have become. Wow. 10,000+ followers?

    1. Hello dear 🙂
      Sorry for the delay in response. I’m glad you found my blog and even happier that you’ve found some connection with the things I write. I hope you’re doing well with your blog and are sharing your writing 🙂
      best
      megan

  17. That’s an awesome Granny Square. Hope you made it to work today. Yesterday, I must have known you were feeling ‘down” because I was in our Fair Trade shop and I saw the cutest little cat figurine ( I think it’s cute) and I bought it for you! If you would like a random little cat, let me know and I will send you my email address so you can send me your postal address. 🙂

    1. Thank you! The granny square is so easy to do. I just saw this comment now and I had no idea you wrote it. That’s so sweet! My favorite store here is a fair trade store. They have the cutest, most unique things. I’d hate for you to have to pay that shipping, but you know I do love cat figurines 🙂 That’s very lovely of you and it means a lot to me. If it’s not too much trouble, then certainly 🙂

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