When I got home on Friday, I had a package in the mail! It was from one of my best blogging friends Gallivanta. She’s been such a good friend and has supported my blog from the beginning. She was so kind to send me a beautiful little ceramic kitty all the way from New Zealand! It’s a fair trade good made in Bangladesh, which goes great with my other fair trade kitties from around the globe. It came with a note on the absolute cutest cat stationary. Thank you so much Amanda, aka Gallivanta 🙂
From my experience, sometimes life throws us things that make us realize what’s most important in life. This happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I got a huge reality check. Having severe anxiety problems, for me, often means that I focus a lot on myself and not on how my actions and thoughts affect those around me. It makes me selfish at times and I don’t even realize it. I am out for the good of my own life rather than the life of others. I often don’t realize how my anxiety makes others feel too. I project my obsessions and compulsions onto others, who never asked for my anxieties, but are forced to experience them. Sometimes, it takes the right message for me to see myself how others see me. I almost lost someone because of my actions and I never want to get in that spot again.
I’ve been making some thoughtful life changes since that moment. It was a moment when I thought my life was crumbling and there was no hope. Now, I see the hope and by working on changing the things I have issues with, I know that life will be better.
I have been working my hardest to not project my anxieties onto other. You may be wondering hat I mean by this. I mean that I force K to wash his hands, tell him to not touch his face, to use hand sanitizer, etc. These are all things that I do to him to keep my anxieties down. It was killing our relationship and I didn’t even realize it. This was so selfish of me.
I have also been unhappy with how I look, namely my weight and figure, and my overall unhappiness. I have worked hard to be less grouchy, more optimistic, and physically healthier. I’ve been eating healthier and I tell you what, I feel 100% better about myself already. I’ve started to eat fruits and vegetables very regularly, have cut out sweets almost entirely, and am really considering the amount of food I’m eating. I consider everything that I eat and how it will affect my health. I have been eating a lot less and working out! I feel great at this time.
At our local grocery store, they are selling locally grown apples, which are grown in the northern part of the state. Being able to buy locally grown produce makes such a difference in how I feel about eating fruits and vegetables. The taste and texture of these apples are far better than any I’ve had that were not locally grown. Thank you Kercher’s Sunrise Orchards 😉
I have also taken to drinking a wider variety of teas. In the afternoon, I drink green tea. In the early evening I have a cup of peppermint tea or some sort of soothing herbal tea. Here’s one that I bought recently that is just so awesome!
Well, I think that’s enough hyper rambling for one night 🙂 Thank you so much for reading.