A New Kitty and A New Me

1551541_10202051528867465_201321301_nWhen I got home on Friday, I had a package in the mail!  It was from one of my best blogging friends Gallivanta.  She’s been such a good friend and has supported my blog from the beginning.  She was so kind to send me a beautiful little ceramic kitty all the way from New Zealand!  It’s a fair trade good made in Bangladesh, which goes great with my other fair trade kitties from around the globe.  It came with a note on the absolute cutest cat stationary.  Thank you so much Amanda, aka Gallivanta 🙂

From my experience, sometimes life throws us things that make us realize what’s most important in life.  This happened to me a couple of weeks ago.  I got a huge reality check.  Having severe anxiety problems, for me, often means that I focus a lot on myself and not on how my actions and thoughts affect those around me.  It makes me selfish at times and I don’t even realize it.  I am out for the good of my own life rather than the life of others.  I often don’t realize how my anxiety makes others feel too.  I project my obsessions and compulsions onto others, who never asked for my anxieties, but are forced to experience them.  Sometimes, it takes the right message for me to see myself how others see me.  I almost lost someone because of my actions and I never want to get in that spot again.

I’ve been making some thoughtful life changes since that moment.  It was a moment when I thought my life was crumbling and there was no hope.  Now, I see the hope and by working on changing the things I have issues with, I know that life will be better.

I have been working my hardest to not project my anxieties onto other.  You may be wondering hat I mean by this.  I mean that I force K to wash his hands, tell him to not touch his face, to use hand sanitizer, etc.  These are all things that I do to him to keep my anxieties down.  It was killing our relationship and I didn’t even realize it.  This was so selfish of me.

I have also been unhappy with how I look, namely my weight and figure, and my overall unhappiness.  I have worked hard to be less grouchy, more optimistic, and physically healthier.  I’ve been eating healthier and I tell you what, I feel 100% better about myself already.  I’ve started to eat fruits and vegetables very regularly, have cut out sweets almost entirely, and am really considering the amount of food I’m eating.  I consider everything that I eat and how it will affect my health.  I have been eating a lot less and working out!  I feel great at this time.

At our local grocery store, they are selling locally grown apples, which are grown in the northern part of the state.  20140202_204915Being able to buy locally grown produce makes such a difference in how I feel about eating fruits and vegetables.  The taste and texture of these apples are far better than any I’ve had that were not locally grown.  Thank you Kercher’s Sunrise Orchards 😉

I have also taken to drinking a wider variety of teas.  In the afternoon, I drink green tea.  In the early evening I have a cup of peppermint tea or some sort of soothing herbal tea.  Here’s one that I bought recently that is just so awesome!

20140202_212420I’m now a fan of Mightleaf teas 🙂  They come int his cute little mesh bags that are sewn together and they are full leaf, so they’re very flavorful.

And here’s a picture of precious Chester being the cutie that he is.  He LOVES taking naps on his daddy’s chest 🙂 2014-02-02 19.00.04

Well, I think that’s enough hyper rambling for one night 🙂  Thank you so much for reading.

Megan

 

 

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74 thoughts on “A New Kitty and A New Me

  1. Now that is one cute kitty! The epitome of a true friend Gallivanta is. You are truly blessed to have her in your life!

  2. I understand the anxiety bit, I too suffer from anxiety. My new post that I have already to get posted, but I’m too tired, will have to wait until tomorrow, unless I end up not being able to sleep, I will then post it in the middle of the night, but I’m working on a lot of the same things as you. The nutrition. I have gastroparesis and IBS which make eating very difficult for me, but as we all know, eating is vital to life, so I’ve been juicing, making smoothies, eating gluten-free foods and only healthy foods. I’ve, also, started exercising. I’m just starting to really take care of myself to the best of my ability. I’ll never be 100% well or better, but I think by making the changes that I’m working so hard on, I can feel somewhat “better” and at least be in a better state of mind. It’s a lot of hard work, but I am determined. You’ll have to read my post when I get it posted. It’s titled Taking Care of Me. Sounds like we’re on the same page. WE CAN DO IT! I wish you the best of luck, and by the way, Chester is looking very handsome tonight, as usual. He’s a very photogenic cat. have a good evening. Talk to you soon.
    Wild Thang:)

    1. It’s funny how our minds connected in that way 🙂 I think it’s great that you are thinking about how to take care of you. It’s something that we forget to do sometimes, I suppose. I think the beginning of the year is always a good time to reassess where we are and where we want to be. I will try to support you as much as I can in this upcoming year to help you take care of you. Oh and yes, Chester is a darn handsome fellow! 🙂 He was so sad tonight. He got his little claw stuck and was wailing. He’s ok now, but how sad!

      1. How bout if we support each other? I’ve been doing a good job, so far. I am afraid I’m still pulling and all or nothing because I have so much to do and once I get started I just cannot stop and I have got to stop that. I really hate moderation, but I have to find it. I’ve been doing a lot of juicing and smoothies. I’m finally getting some good nutrition into my body and that’s not an easy thing for me to do. I’ve been exercising every day. I’ve done quite a bit today, but am starting to feel really sluggish. We are getting stomped on by this major snow storm and are supposed to be getting around 10″ of snow or more. I love snow, so it’s awesome. Sorry, Chester got his little paw stuck, that is sad, but I’m glad he’s ok. give him an extra hug and kiss from me. I’ll be checking in on you to see how you are doing and I’ll do my best to support you, as well. Now, sometimes I don’t get online for a few days. Depends how I feel, but I always come back. Sometimes I just need to step back for a few days. I hope you are feeling “well” today and having a good day, my friend.:)

      2. Absolutely! I know how important having supports in life can be. I wouldn’t have made it where I am today without those. Did you get a lot of snow? We were supposed to get a lot more than we actually did. The weatherman here always exaggerates, but I think that’s everywhere 🙂 How are you doing? I hope all is well!
        Take care dear
        megan

      3. Deal. Support is what keeps me going and there is so much support here, it’s awesome. Well, our weatherman usually exaggerates, too, but this time they were actually right on. Last week, we got well over a foot of snow. Yesterday afternoon we go about 2 more inches and by the end of the week it’s supposed to be 51 degrees. Go figure. I haven’t been feeling very well physically, but emotionally I’m handling it. Doing much better with that than usual. I’m working really hard at learning to cope and deal with what I’ve been dealt and for the time I’m in a pretty good place, thanks for asking. How have you been? Other than busy home hunting? I hope you are doing well, my friend Talk to you soon. Take care.
        Peace,
        Wild Thang:)

      4. You gotta see the picture I just posted of Chester 😀 I’m sure this will help you with Chester-withdrawl 😉 Hope you’re doing well! On the plus side, spring is only 34 days away

      5. I will have to check out this latest pic of Chester. Heading that way. Thanks for sharing and helping me with my Chester withdrawals.
        34 days and counting. Done with this arctic blast, even though I do love the snow, but I like snow when it’s like 30 degrees, at least, not 0. Geezzzzzzzzzzz:)

  3. Hi Megan! It sounds like you are making healthy choices. I often find myself having expectations of my husband to do things my way etc. I too have to check myself and realize that he is his own person and I need to back off. I too need to work on eating healthier and peel off a few pounds. I don’t obsess but I procrastinate. ): Chester is so cute just like our Riley. Take care!

      1. Haven’t tried it yet (the price scared me) but love Teavana’s Oolong Toasted Nut Brulée and their Rooibox Tea Apple Lemon Pomegranate is delicious – and caffeine free.

  4. Aww…little kitty looks so cute, as does Chester 🙂 And thank you for your kind words. And I would love one of those apples. They look delicious. I know it’s really really hard not to impose your anxieties on others, so drink tea and keep well, gaze upon kitties and feel happy, and maybe that will help.

  5. Keep up the work 🙂 I don’t know you but I know what anxiety feels like, I had it too and I randomly have been feeling it lately. It’s all about taking control after becoming aware that the thought patterns are negative, unhealthy, and honestly it’s the fact that we are not living in the present moment. Take deep breaths often, tell yourself beautiful things and continue to eat good food. Watch yourself bloom! ❤ much love

    1. it’s definitely a mind over matter situation when it comes to anxiety, for me anyway. It does take a lot to realize those unhealthy patterns, but hopefully I’m working toward that. Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. it means a lot to me 🙂
      megan

      1. It really is mind over matter! Fear based thinking. Once we can just take some deep breaths (in thru nose, out thru mouth) and say “I understand I’m afraid but I don’t need to be. I love you” then we can see that we calm down and see things clearly. If you haven’t tried yoga I suggest it! I can’t remember if you mentioned yoga, but yoga would teach you how to focus on the postures (you totally have to anyways to get it right and follow along) and you have to breath deeply. This forces you to give ALL your attention to the present moment and you totally forget about everything else. This is the secret 😉 living in the moment ❤

  6. Super Megan on a roll, way to go Lady.
    I am sure you can do this.. you shown that you can. Thumbs up
    and keep smiling… and take it form this silly crow. You did not look bad at all.

  7. When you work in the beauty industry for ten years, you come to really appreciate how every woman is desperately unhappy with her figure, hair, face, etc. Straight haired ladies want curly hair, curly haired ladies want straight hair. Everyone thinks their nose and their feet are weird. Everyone wants to lose weight, or is stressed by the rigors of maintaining a whippet thin frame past a certain age. In a few years you’ll get to the part where you’re staring in horror at the encroachment of crows feet, and, if your gorgeous smile is any indication, puppet lines around the mouth. Every five years or so you’ll look down at your body and nothing will be quite where you left it. And you know what? It’s okay. Cut out the mental chatter that tells you you’re not good enough, and strive for the confidence that’s sexier than any hip-to-waist ratio.

    1. You are so right. There’s so much pressure on women to be a certain way, to be thin and to have perfect hair and skin. It’s amazing how the media and society does that to us. Thanks so much for helping me remember what’s most important in life.
      megan

  8. There is always hope Megan. I believe by your sharing your thoughts, you are delivering hope to others. Those apples looks oh so delicious. I’m glad you have Chester to keep you company. Have a great day.

  9. Loving your rambling 😉 I’m in a similar position to you, working on looking after my mind and body more so that I can love myself more, and see why other people love me. I allow myself one little chocolate each day, and I’m feeling happier about my body already. I have started Pilates, but need to up the exercise. Keep up the good work 😉

    1. So very true! We can’t really love others until we learn to love ourselves. I always thought this was just a saying, but I’ve come to see just how true it is. Sending good energy your way 🙂
      Megan

  10. It’s amazing how great doing positive things can make you feel. It has such a knock on effect….just takes that initial push to get out of the negative headspace long enough to do it. Well done

  11. You are definitely going in the right direction. Realizing that the way you think isn’t how others think and trying to force your thoughts on others will just irritate them and resent you. I have learned his to control the disorder and I do what I need to do for myself but I do them quietly and not disrupt others lives. With practice you will master the disorder and control it rather than it control you. You also have to remember that the world will never change and after we are gone there will always be the flu, germs, coughing it will never end no matter how we react. Keep you mind in check and don’t force anyone to do what you think is best for them because they may have a whole other plan fir their own life.
    Relax and enjoy life I can’t stress that enough. Love you honey talk to you soon. Ps love the tea idea.

  12. Oh honey regarding your weight, please give yourself a break, you are very slim and everyone envies that. You can’t help that the meds made you gain a little that is just one of the bad side effects. Remember how slim I was pre op? I know I can’t reverse my gain but I love myself and I am thankful that I am healthy so some extra weight is ok. It took me a long time to accept myself but I no longer hate the person I see in the mirror because that person in the mirror deserves more. Also remember that you are beautiful, love yourself.

    1. I know, I’m too hard on myself. It’s just hard to love who we are if we have never really had any self-confidence. Ash and I were talking that dad never really ever told us that we were pretty or anything growing up. I still don’t think I’ve EVER heard him say that. I know it’s not really his personality, but still. I will make sure my children hear it all the time. I’m glad you’re liking the tea 🙂

      1. Your old dad may have had his share of flaws but he loves you guys more than anything, that I know for sure. My dad didn’t say those things to me either but I know he loves me just as much as your dad. Don’t worry about the past but enjoy the now.

  13. I never know quite what I am about to read when I start one of your blogs, but it is always wonderful! I just looked up the type of tea you mentioned and plan to give some of the flavours a try as I am an avid tea lover as well as cats LOL

  14. Ah, Chester. Such a cute cat. Isn’t it strange how little things in our lives can really build up into big things? It’s great that you are trying to be self-aware. I hope that you are being supported while working on bettering yourself. It’s great to see you are still blogging! I’m hoping I will be again moving forward. I hope things have been going well. I’ll have to read through the last few months now. 🙂

    1. He is such a darn cutie 🙂 Thank you. I haven’t heard from you in awhile. How have you been? I have written quite a few posts in the last year, so don’t feel like you must read them all. I kind have gotten into the habit of writing daily, but not always. I’m glad to hear from you again!
      hope all is well
      megan

  15. I know exactly what you mean about projecting your anxieties onto others. I’ve done the same thing to my hubby. Early on, he did as I asked, but it has definitely put a strain on our relationship. And I do still do it, and I have to get in the moment and remember what I’m doing.

    The good thing is you recognizing what you’re doing. And working to change it for the better is also important. In regards to your weight and health, you sound like you feel great. I re-discovered fruits and vegetables again. And I love smoothies! I just have to be careful where I get them. When I make them at home, it’s easier.

    And Chester is adorable. I envy cats’ ability to curl up in any position and sleep at the drop of a hat.

    1. I’m glad you can understand what I was trying to say. It’s an unfair thing to do to the other person, but most often times I don’t realize I’m doing it. It takes him getting angry with me for me to see that what I’m doing is wrong.

      K and I used to make smoothies all the time, but haven’t for awhile. I really should try making them again. 🙂

      1. I can’t get hubby to have a smoothie, period! Not sure if he’s ever tried one, but even if he did, not sure of the flavor and from where. Homemade are the best though!

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