Thought you guys were probably missing beautiful Chester, so here’s a picture of him 🙂
Since dating K, I have had a lot of great new experiences. I’ve eaten foods I never tried before. I’ve visited cities that I’d never traveled to. I’ve learned the basics of a new language. I’ve learned what it means to be an adult, which is still in the works by the way.
I’m sure everyone has experienced discrimination in some form or another. As a woman, this is something I’ve always experienced. As someone in an international relationship, this is something I’ve started experiencing in the last six or so years.
I love living in my current city because it is very diverse and there are people from every walk of life. I appreciate that so much. We have never, thankfully, experienced problems here.
The problems occur when we go out of this city and into the smaller, rural areas. Sometimes it’s unintentional discrimination and sometimes it’s intentional. I have so many examples, but none of which are obviously about race. It’s in the way someone speaks to us, their body language, or gestures. It’s very rarely what someone says, but rather how they say it. It seems like no matter what we do or where we go, someone is just plain mean to us! We very rarely, if ever, instigate this meanness, but somehow it finds us.
I would like to relate to you a few experiences that will hopefully help illustrate things better:
Experience 1: K and I used to go to the gym together. We are doing our thing and quietly and respectfully using the equipment. We take turns using machines and rotate sets, meaning that while he’s working out on one machine, I’m on the other. Anyway, this elderly man walks up to us, stands and huffs at us, and acts very aggressively. Mind you, we’ve been on this machine for like 2 minutes. He proceeds to stand there and tap his foot, looking at us gruffly. In fact, he very much looks like Oscar the grouch at this point. Finally, he explodes. “Are you two almost done with that machine?” K, in reply says, “We are going to be using it a few minutes more. We are just finishing a few sets. There’s actually another machine just like it right there” Immediately the man says, “No, I prefer the older model, so please move.” I wanna cry, K is angry, and so we leave. We had a few encounters with this jerk in the gym and I watched him. Never once did he approach anyone else. I haven’t seen him in awhile. Maybe he died….
Experience 2: While visiting my family, K and I decided to attend church at a local, non-demoniational church that had been built somewhat recently. I was nervous about going, but we’ve never had problems at churches like this, so we went. K gets out his iPad, like he always does, to take notes and follow along in the Bible in iBooks. I kid you not, seconds later, a jerk face next sitting near K gets the nerve to say, “Show some respect and put that thing away.” I heard him say this and I was instantly enraged. I turned to the idiot and said firmly, “It’s a Bible you idiot. Turn around and shut up.” I was soooo mad and K looked hurt. The man left before the service was finished. I guess he was scared that I was going to confront him again. Mwhahaha….
Experience 3: Not all of these experiences have been with white people. Some of them have been Korean. One time when we were at H-Mart, K is at one of the food kiosks and orders food. The man is just a butthead from the beginning. K’s order was less than $15 and apparently you can’t pay with a credit card if it’s under $15, but K didn’t see the sign on the counter and pulls out his credit card. The man looks ticked and says, “Can’t you read?” while tapping his gnarly, age-spotty finger on the sign. Dick. K gets his food, eats, and then puts the tray back at the kiosk, leaving the pepper on the table. The stupid man just looks at us like we’re idiots and then turns to me and just looks at me, and then looks at the table. I said, “What?” Was he expecting me to read his mind? He just pointed at it like I was a dog. I brought it to him and slammed it on the counter. I was super angry after that.
As you can see, people are just downright mean to us. These are just 3 of dozens of experiences we’ve had while together. People can be mean and reluctant to change and I feel that in these experiences. One thing I try to live my life by is kindness. I try to make it evident in everything I do.
One thing it has helped me with is my shyness. I used to be such a shy kid and didn’t grow out of that until I was 18 or 19 years old. Glad I got over that, otherwise I’d just cry in public a lot.
Well, I know this was a long post, but I had to get it off my chest.
Please share with me your thoughts on this topic in the email form below or in the comment section!