This Was The Last Straw

To start this post off, here are some pictures of Chester being his funny self:

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He’s just so eccentric and I love him for it.

I did something that was beyond weird, irresponsible, and totally stupid. I feel terrible and haven’t even been able to post anything or do anything that I normally do for almost 3 weeks.  Anyway, hello again.

What did I do? Well, you may not think it’s a big deal, but to me it was. I got the urge to adopt another cat. I thought Chester needed a friend. Long story short, it was a huge mistake. My stress levels sky-rocketed. The change in routine nearly made me sick.  Chester was a different, mean cat.  The kitten, while absolutely adorable, had a number of ailments (i.e. numerous parasites, URI).  Chester got fleas for the first time and of course came down with a “cold.”  I ended up bringing the kitten back to the shelter.  I felt awful about doing it and really wanted it to work out, but it didn’t. The people at the shelter, of course, made me feel like a piece of trash, but honestly, they adopt so many animals from there that I’m positive this cutie will be adopted.  I thought bringing her back was far more responsible than me just adopting the kitten on a whim in the first place.

Why do I do these things?!  I honestly think I have ADHD comorbid with OCD. I’m not the only one in my family.  My brother has these same exact tendencies. I get bored with life VERY easily and am constantly looking for something new and exciting and in the moment I feel like I MUST have the thing I’ve fixated on.  It’s an overwhelming obsession and drive to seek the thing that I want most in that moment. This time, it happened to be a kitten, unfortunately for the kitten…  It seems like as soon as I obtain the thing I’m desperately wanting in the moment, I either get bored with it, or realize it’s not at all what I was imagining in that fluffy cloud imagination of mine.

Of course I can’t explain some of this to people who don’t understand anything about mental illness or the mindset of someone like me, so I let some people think that I’m just a selfish, awful person for not taking care of this rescue cat.  My mom told me you have to do what you have to do for yourself, not what others think is right, and my favorite line, “You can’t rescue them all.”  So true.

Some people are able to adapt to change, but others, like me, have a great deal of difficulty to accept new and different aspects to their daily routine.

I love Chester and he’s our baby. He had fleas for the first time and contracted the URI from the kitten. He was beyond stressed and as soon as the kitten was gone, he was getting back to himself. I still don’t think he’s fully recovered.

This incident was the last straw for me. It’s time for me to put my foot down and NOT give into these strong impulses to do what I think I must in the moment. I have to take time, collect my thoughts, and weigh the pros and cons.  Do I really need this?  Can I afford this?  Why am I thinking I have to have this?  Sometimes, it helps to just breathe and think things through.

I’ve learned this the hard way.

I’m glad to be back and feeling like things are getting back to how they should be.  If you’ve commented and I haven’t gotten to your comment, I’m truly sorry. I’ve just approved almost all of them and haven’t responded and probably won’t.  Just know that I have read them and appreciate everything you all say. It means so much to me.

Have a lovely day and remember to smile 🙂

Megan

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46 thoughts on “This Was The Last Straw

  1. “I get bored with life VERY easily and am constantly looking for something new and exciting and in the moment I feel like I MUST have the thing I’ve fixated on. It’s an overwhelming obsession and drive to seek the thing that I want most in that moment.” – Don’t worry, I do that too! I’m always trying to find things to fill the boredom and the quiet spaces.

  2. Hey Megan. Great to have you posting again. I was wondering how you were. Glad everything is getting back to its usual routine. It must be a stressful time for you all. I laughed to see Chester being a pair of shoes on the shoe rack.

  3. Megan, this post is timely for me. We adopted a cat several weeks ago, and she’s so demanding of our time, we’ve been thinking about getting her a companion cat. Now I’m not so sure. If the shelter staff was rude to you when you rightly brought the kitten back, resolve to go to another shelter in the future! Keep writing. I enjoy your posts.

  4. I don’t think it was irresponsible to get a kitten at all – some cats simply tolerate additional kitty family members better than others. I completely understand where you’re coming from though; I recently (in June) got a second kitten, Jethro, to join my 3-year old cat Ziva. To say that the last few months have been incredibly stressful is an understatement.

    The situation was not helped by Ziva becoming injured shortly after I brought Jethro home and her being in a lot of pain, which she now associates with the kitten. Complicated kitty logic. She was pretty bad, dropping nearly a quarter of her body weight in 2-weeks because she couldn’t/wouldn’t eat, possibly due to a blow to the head/sore jaw or just pain from her back.

    Fortunately she has recovered; although I think she has some permanent damage to her back/pelvis, but nothing that is stopping her getting on with her life. However, I think she’s down to 8-lives now.

    I have been at the point where I wondered whether I could keep both of them; only the determination and bloody mindedness that is part of my character has kept me going and we are now at the point where they can tolerate each other and my older cat grudgingly enjoys playing with Jethro (although you’d better not let her know that you know or that would be highly embarrassing). Fortunately they are both outdoor cats and we have a 3-bedroom house and large garden for them to ignore each other in (benefit of living on my parent’s smallholding).

    You definitely did the right thing to take the kitten back to the shelter if it wasn’t working out – much kinder to both Chester and the kitten to find a home where they won’t be making each other miserable.

  5. aw megan, i feel for you! right now we are temporarily fostering a cat… we already have 3, who have their own pecking order, but this brute has decided that he’s the boss… and it’s just not going well. i would like to add that you should listen to your mom on this one… number one rule of mental health is to look after yourself. just like when someone’s on an airplane and the oxygen masks come down, the mom is supposed to put hers on first. i missed hearing from you, but totally understand! bless you girl. d

  6. It takes strength not only to put that foot down, but to realize and admit that it needs to be done in the first place. I hope that Chester gets better (my cat had a cold this last week as well…)

  7. Hi! I have missed you and Chester. Out of our three of four cats, our Calico was the most miserable with bringing Riley home. My husband found her outside one morning and one had been run over. In that case he did the right thing. Like Chester she is so much fun and such a dear.. Lizzy is better but she still has a tendency to bully which I hate.. Not everything works out, even when we have a good and heartfelt idea. Chester can be back to his peaceful surroundings. It’s like eating at a buffet and I pile on way to much..My eyes are bigger than my stomach and that’s the way our hearts are sometimes, thinking we should do this or that. We’ve all done it and it’s ok Megan. You tried..Don’t be a stranger..lol!

    1. Thanks so much your kind words of encouragement 🙂 I’m still learning how this adult thing goes and sometimes I just don’t know if I’m doing the right thing or not. So glad to hear from you!

  8. You should NOT feel bad for returning the kitten to the shelter. That was 100% the right thing to do. Moreover, the kitten should have been healthy. You don’t adopt out an animal that has fleas and an URI, period. These places are supposed to thoroughly evaluate and clear them medically, but the truth is, they’re under-funded and lazy about a lot. I got sick from my kitten when I adopted her and if the shelter had simply used bleach and paper towel, it would not have become this huge outbreak that affected all the pets and every adopter.

    Maybe Chester is just one of those cats that is meant to be solo. His breed really wants to be King of the Castle, so to speak. If he’d come home with another kitten, it probably would have been different. You tried, it didn’t work out, do NOT beat yourself up over it.

    1. That makes me feel a lot better actually. I was feeling the same way about that shelter. I thought they were supposed to come home cleaner than that, which his disappointing. I forgot that Chester, who came from the same shelter, also had those same issues. It was a nightmare.

      1. Basically it is their job to “sell” the animal to us, however most of them also demand that we return the animal within 21 days if anything is wrong. I had to sign two contracts with two different shelters, and each of them said “Animal must be surrendered back to us if you cannot keep it for any reason.” We shouldn’t feel bad for doing that on the off chance something DOES happen, but I would have been VERY upset to receive a flea-ridden kitten that should have gotten proper treatment long before being adopted out, and I would have also been angrier that their ineptness made my cat sick! Believe it or not, this is one of the reasons I have waited so long before bringing companions in for V.

  9. do you practice yoga? or meditate? now that you see the benefits of taking a moment to breathe maybe you want to take the next step?? both have helped me cope with being bipolar a great deal.

  10. Seemed like a good idea at the time, hey Megan. I have friends who have added pets to their life and always do so on the proviso that the new animal will fit in with the existing pet. Some have done this to provide companionship for their existing pet whilst others simply like to rescue animals. But they do keep it real and recognise that it does not always work out the way they would like it to. One friend adopted a german shepherd a few years ago and it was on the proviso, but both parties, that Cody would like his new home. He did and not lives a more active lifestyle required by a bigger dog. But Maj always said that if he was not happy, she would have returned him to his original owners.

  11. Hi there…those of you who read our old blog, I am asking you if you’d like to read our new, private blog. We have dissociative identity disorder and PTSD, we write about our journey to healing, our therapy process, and our ups, and downs in life. Our blog is currently private because we write about some heavy topics but if you request access we will approve you. To request access visit http://multime1980.wordpress.com/ thanks for reading

  12. Aw 😦 Have you thought of having Chester’s blood tested for blood borne diseases, just in case? I’m not sure how you vaccinate him, but I know many diseases are so communicable from other cats.

  13. You did the right thing for yourself, Chester and the kitty. The people at the shelter should not have made you feel bad for taking the kitty back there. Instead they should be happy and thankful because you wanted to give the kitty a loving home. It does not always turn out the way you want but you did your best. All the best to you and Chester 🙂

  14. Do not beat yourself up – and how mean that they made you feel bad for taking back the kitten!! My cousins tried to adopt a puppy from us when our dog unexpectedly have birth, and she just didn’t settle in at all with their older dog. So they had to give her up and find another home for her – sometimes it just doesn’t work out.
    Keep your chin up though darling, we all make mistakes. The most important thing is that you’ve taken something from the experience 🙂

  15. I’m sorry about what happened, and the people at the shelter should have told you about the cat’s ailments and they also shouldn’t have let that cat be adopted without it being healthy.

  16. I’m glad you are going to try and get those impulses under control. With practice you can overcome them…trust me, I know. If not then you are going to drive yourself batty. love you

  17. There’s nothing wrong with having to return the kitten. I’ve adopted a couple animals on a whim, only to realize that the dog’s personality didn’t suit our environment and I had to return them. I felt guilty, but eventually I realized that it was for the best. As others have said, don’t be so hard on yourself. These things happen.

  18. Sometimes, we do things impulsively. It doesn’t mean we are irresponsible. It’s simply a deed without forethought of consequences.
    I find that cats if adopted together adapt well. But, when a new cat or kitty is brought in after a length of time the 1st cat has a hard time accepting the other.
    I think you did the right thing by returning the kitty. It should never have been adopted out until it was in a heathy state. It was wrong of them to give it to you that way. It required more care and affected the health of Chester.
    I’m happy Chester is returning to his old sweet self. Head rubs to him.
    Blessings to you !!!

  19. Thanks for this Megan, I’m having an “I must have it” phase too, the thought of another dog to keep him company has more than crossed my mind just lately… I won’t do it.

  20. Some triggers from my past can trigger very strong emotions in me also. I’d like to say I always set them aside until I am clearer minded, but no, I want to be one of those people who says what’s on their mind and follows their gut. It’s awful that I have so little faith in myself, but I have the “oops” moments and memories of the words “what were you thinking!” to restrain me. However, with art, I completely feel that I can paint whatever I want without any disasters, just experiences.

    Sorry this became “Me, me, me”, but I love you and I am glad you are ‘back’. I hope Chester and you feel things are back to normal again soon.

    1. Not at all! I appreciate you sharing this. I was told by a friend that hand-eye coordination activities, like painting or crochet, are proven in research to relieve stress and calm the mind. Isn’t this so true?! They didn’t need to do research to tell me this 🙂

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