To start this post off, here are some pictures of Chester being his funny self:
He’s just so eccentric and I love him for it.
I did something that was beyond weird, irresponsible, and totally stupid. I feel terrible and haven’t even been able to post anything or do anything that I normally do for almost 3 weeks. Anyway, hello again.
What did I do? Well, you may not think it’s a big deal, but to me it was. I got the urge to adopt another cat. I thought Chester needed a friend. Long story short, it was a huge mistake. My stress levels sky-rocketed. The change in routine nearly made me sick. Chester was a different, mean cat. The kitten, while absolutely adorable, had a number of ailments (i.e. numerous parasites, URI). Chester got fleas for the first time and of course came down with a “cold.” I ended up bringing the kitten back to the shelter. I felt awful about doing it and really wanted it to work out, but it didn’t. The people at the shelter, of course, made me feel like a piece of trash, but honestly, they adopt so many animals from there that I’m positive this cutie will be adopted. I thought bringing her back was far more responsible than me just adopting the kitten on a whim in the first place.
Why do I do these things?! I honestly think I have ADHD comorbid with OCD. I’m not the only one in my family. My brother has these same exact tendencies. I get bored with life VERY easily and am constantly looking for something new and exciting and in the moment I feel like I MUST have the thing I’ve fixated on. It’s an overwhelming obsession and drive to seek the thing that I want most in that moment. This time, it happened to be a kitten, unfortunately for the kitten… It seems like as soon as I obtain the thing I’m desperately wanting in the moment, I either get bored with it, or realize it’s not at all what I was imagining in that fluffy cloud imagination of mine.
Of course I can’t explain some of this to people who don’t understand anything about mental illness or the mindset of someone like me, so I let some people think that I’m just a selfish, awful person for not taking care of this rescue cat. My mom told me you have to do what you have to do for yourself, not what others think is right, and my favorite line, “You can’t rescue them all.” So true.
Some people are able to adapt to change, but others, like me, have a great deal of difficulty to accept new and different aspects to their daily routine.
I love Chester and he’s our baby. He had fleas for the first time and contracted the URI from the kitten. He was beyond stressed and as soon as the kitten was gone, he was getting back to himself. I still don’t think he’s fully recovered.
This incident was the last straw for me. It’s time for me to put my foot down and NOT give into these strong impulses to do what I think I must in the moment. I have to take time, collect my thoughts, and weigh the pros and cons. Do I really need this? Can I afford this? Why am I thinking I have to have this? Sometimes, it helps to just breathe and think things through.
I’ve learned this the hard way.
I’m glad to be back and feeling like things are getting back to how they should be. If you’ve commented and I haven’t gotten to your comment, I’m truly sorry. I’ve just approved almost all of them and haven’t responded and probably won’t. Just know that I have read them and appreciate everything you all say. It means so much to me.
Have a lovely day and remember to smile 🙂