It is really, really cold today. When I woke up, it was -11 degrees F outside! My car was struggling to start. I am just counting the days until spring, so I wanted my featured image to be one of springtime and of my favorite herb, lavender 🙂 I think it’s lavender anyway, but it might be that tricky flower that looks like lavender. Well, you get my point.
Here’s what it really looks like:
Remaining positive and taking care of my body go a long way in helping me to be a happier and healthier person, but there’s only so much someone with OCD can do to make themselves feel “normal.” I have been feeling so much better about myself lately. I know it’s because I’m being mindful of my attitude/mood, what I eat, and the exercise I’m getting. These things have helped me tremendously. Medication helps too, but I couldn’t solely rely on it by being a passive user. I had to take control of me. The medication just takes the edge off.
Even though I think I’m doing better, there are some things that seem to have gotten worse or my compulsions have shifted toward them. I no longer wear “street clothes” in the house and I definitely don’t sit around in them. To me, doing that contaminates anything I touch in my household, my sacred place.
What I eat has become something that I’m watching like a hawk. Not only because I’m trying to get into better shape, but also because I’m afraid of food borne illness. We went to our favorite Chinese buffet yesterday and while everything ended up fine, I couldn’t get my mind off of having to touch what other people have touched and then going to eat. This is why whenever I go to a Chinese restaurant, I always use the chopsticks and never the silverware. Rewashed/reused silverware, especially at a Chinese restaurant, seems unsanitary to me.
I am working really hard at not forcing my anxieties onto K. I mean, really hard. It’s difficult for me to refrain from telling him to stop touching his face while we are in public or to constantly ask him if he washed his hands.
I refuse to watch the news. I swear, all they ever put on the news in my area is something about illness. I DO NOT need that kind of scare in my life. Just stop reporting it! I’m totally serious when I tell you that I turned on the news for like a minute yesterday and they were reporting about some kind of superbug. I mean come on! If it really is a “superbug” then there’s nothing you can do about it and you should just not worry.
I just hope this positive streak lasts. I tend to have roller coaster moods.